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Candidate Yusuke [WIP]

zegnautus
 
    Wed Nov 11, 2020 12:17 pm
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Candidate Yusuke [WIP]

Yusuke
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"If I do not have faith in my own abilities, I’ll never come to accomplish anything"
–Yusuke Kitagawa, Persona 5


BASICS

RETIRE INFO: Retire
NAME: Yus’ke, born Yusuke
GENDER:Male
PRONOUNS: he/him/his
ORIENTATION: demiromantic, asexual

BIRTHDATE: Born late winter 2750
AGE: 20 as of late winter 2770, will be 21 late winter 2771
LOCATION: Currently, Fort Weyr
OCCUPATION:Candidate
WING: N/A

APPEARANCE
EYES: Dark Grey, bordering on black
HAIR:Black
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 5’11”, thin but slightly toned all around
PLAY-BY:Yusuke Kitagawa
FULL APPEARANCE: Yusuke always tries to have his best on when he’s out. Going often with a casual yet still crisp and presentable look to the public. (A vest, some kind of undershirt and workable pants) However, when he’s at home, he’s much more casual with a big more baggy clothes than when he’s out. (Often times this boils down to some form of cargo pants and some kind of tank, or a long sleeve shirt in winter) In terms of cleanliness, he likes to keep a tidy appearance, whether out or at home. While he still keeps it a little more lose at home, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t still attempt to look a certain way for the day. Overall, pretty good cleanliness.

In terms of stature, Yusuke has a tiny bit of a developing hunch that he’d gained from sitting in a hunched position in childhood. This isn’t really noticeable unless one watches him straighten out after sitting in a hunched position for a long while.

PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY: He is a reserved person, however, reserved doesn’t necessarily mean quiet. Though he is a little bit. He more just holds himself in a reserved type of manner that is polite and friendly. Even if he may look like he doesn’t want much to do with anyone, he is easily approachable if not a little off put by it the first couple of times. He is a reserved person, however, reserved doesn’t necessarily mean quiet. Though he is a little bit. He more just holds himself in a reserved type of manner that is polite and friendly. Even if he may look like he doesn’t want much to do with anyone, he is easily approachable if not a little off put by it the first couple of times.

He holds himself to standards of being honest. He isn’t entirely brutal with his comments, unless he’s letting out some thoughts without really thinking about what he’s saying in that moment… Or you make him upset to the highest degree, which is a rarity. But he is always willing to let people know what he truly thinks about something, whether it be something he is interested in, something he is being given/told about, etc.

Above all else, Yusuke is extremely dedicated and throws himself into anything his is passionate about, if even a little eccentric at times, but that’s what adds fuel to his fire. When he was working through his craft before abandoning, he always tried to find the beauty in things that would further inspire him. He can come off as a little bit brash when he does tend to throw himself into things, but he means well and it just trying to better further himself in his field(s) so that he can be able to come out with something truly beautiful to himself and everyone.

HISTORY
FAMILY: Unknown Mother (deceased), Madarame (adoptive parent, estranged)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER:N/A
BIRTHPLACE:Fort Hold
HISTORY: TW Death
Yusuke didn’t get to know his mother, as she had passed from natural causes not very long after he was born. He was taken in by his mother’s teacher and who was essentially the family’s friend at the time. And during this time, he was also to be taught the utmost basics to get him started in the harper craft, as his adoptive parent was a Journeyman scribe, and oft spoke of his mother’s aspirations to be one as well. Because of some of the training he was provided, Yusuke didn’t often go out unless it was for an errand or something like a small outing. Because of this, he wasn’t really able to pick up on a lot of social cues in certain situations, making for a lot of awkward interactions for him when he would try and make friends. Although said friends taught him a few things, he still has moments where he can be dense and forget certain situations call for certain cues.

When he was 8, he was immediately sent in to go and begin proper training to begin becoming a harper. For a while, he’d spend most of his free time wandering around Fort Hold, trying to look for anything and everything that would give him inspiration to continue putting forth what he would consider some of his finest works. Some days were better than others, and he often would find himself lost for hours in different parts of Fort hold until sunset. Many considered him to be extremely sucked into his own world, he considered himself exceptionally passionate about his craft, and used any excuse he could to make sure that he had a reason to keep going.

Late into his 17th turn, Yusuke disowned the man who had raised him under the pretenses that he had been lied to since he had begun his training in his craft. All of which started as rumors that he’d learned were actually true. Heartbroken, Yusuke would resign his craft training. Feeling like a piece of him was now missing after the feeling and inspiration from it all he once held disappeared, he had spent time wandering the town and outskirts to try and find anything to start up the spark again.

Later down the line he had ended up where he wouldn’t have imagined, he was searched into candidacy. It was a shock, and he wasn’t sure if this was the path he was meant to take. However, he wasn’t one to turn down an opportunity where it was raised to rekindle what he had, passion and drive. Which was something that immediately excited him when he took the chance. The idea of forming a bond with a magnificent creature and potentially protecting the future with this partner sounded beautiful to him.
Last edited by zegnautus on Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:52 pm, edited 6 times in total.
zegnautus
 
    Wed Nov 11, 2020 2:57 pm
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IC Information
What type of candidate is your character: Dragon

What color/s does your character want?: Blue, but don’t mind a white if it came down to it.
Does your character have any personality preferences or concerns?: Mild-mannered/kind, clever. Can be strict but nothing really harsh
Does your character have any other preferences or concerns?: N/A

OOC Information
If your character is a dual candidate IC, do you have a strong preference on whether they Impress dragon or wher?:N/A

What color(s) are you willing for your character to impress to?: Blues and Whites. But definitely will work with what we are given, no matter what colour.
Do you have any personality preferences or concerns?: I think something with a strong or bold but mild-tempered personality would be good, something to bounce off his passionate side, in a way. Probably something of a companion that would be easy to empathize with him in a rough spot if he needs it.
Do you have any other preferences or concerns?:N/A
Why do you think these choices would be a good fit?: I think, as I said in the above, it would be good to have a companion to bounce off of whether it be with something he’s passionate about, or he just needs someone to empathize with him if he’s having a snag during the day and help him keep working towards what he’s passionate about.
Do you have any preferences about the conditions of your character’s impression?: Go to at least one without impressing. Otherwise what goes, goes.
Are you alright with your character getting hurt? What injury level is acceptable/what should be avoided?: Yeah totally fine. Nothing leaving him in a life-threatening condition, but serious/critical is about the limit I’m willing to work.

Is there anything you will ABSOLUTELY NOT accept?:N/A
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Jabberwoky
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Posts: 6912
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 5:29 pm
Location: The Churning Mists
    Wed Nov 11, 2020 3:22 pm
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Nyoom nyoom.

Location should be where he will end up! Since Ista isn't an on-screen location, it should be another Weyr, so we can organize him properly when he gets accepted.

Appearance looks fine, but you do repeat yourself a few times concerning Yusuke's style of dress (you mention how he dresses at home at least twice). Please put spaces between paragraphs so it's easier to read c:

Personality could be a little longer. Yusuke is a lot of things! He's a weird, passionate young man! He also is bad at looking ahead (see: the lobster incident), sees beauty in everything, and he's a kind young man, while also being a weird artist. Expanding on him a bit would be great. Here's some questions I use to help round out a character:
-Why does he want it to be a dragonrider?
-How does he feel about the current political climate?
-What are his hopes and dreams?

History is what needs the most work, but that's okay! Most people's First Pern Character needs work, and staff is here to help.

-Was he born at Ista Weyr or Ista Hold?
-A lot of his history is kind of vague and more focused on Madarame and not him. Here's some profiles you can look at as examples for histories being character-focused, not NPC focused.
Mori - Candidate
Mishima of Blue Harmoth
Pasca - Candidate

-When did he transfer (and to where? I assume Fort Weyr).
-Dragons are normal to Weyrfolk, seeing the Wings flying Thread would be very commonplace

If you've got questions and such, feel free to ask in the Discord! I've got lore for days.

A full review will be done when the app is finished and marked RFR
Fort Weyr
Senior Weyrwoman Tuckal of Gold Serapheth
[White Journey]
Weyrlingmaster Lexien of Brown Mikazuchith
Hollow of Brown Bysalth
Ni'all of Brown Calyptrath
Wa'en of Brown Galahath
Alphinaud of Green Koth
N'eth of Green Azoth
Playne of Green Iosefkath
Vartin of Amethyst Vartisk
and Garnet Varsk
[Bone Otani]
Journeyman Scribe Urianger
Semaca Weyr
Hecate of Almandine Cabadath
D'ryu of Bronze Cyroth
Aymeric of Garnet Thanatoth
Persephone of Green Amauroth
[Brown Bitey] [Blue Paladin]
Quatre of Green Wynleth
[White Sandrock]
Majima of Brown Majimask
Weyrling Ke'ro of Green Ossabhath
Candidate Pierrick
Dragonless Time
Journeyman Carpenter/Sailor Wojchek
High Reaches Weyr
G'li of Bronze Ereborth
Lelouch of Blue Isith
[Gold Banshee]
Lobelia of Blue Imeterth
Datte of White Tarith
[Green Illium]
Weyrling Zoh'tof Brown Lannith
Lanselot of Brown Selosk
JM Healer Vallauris
[Gold Aether]
Holder Xander
[Bronze Siegfried] [Blue Laslow] [Green Peri]
Wherling Mori of Gold Morsk
Weyrbrat Viola
[Garnet Ultima]
Candidate Clive
[Gold Phoenix] [Brown Ifrit] [Blue Ramuh]
[Green Garuda] [Green Shiva]
Weyrfolk Daosea
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Jabberwoky
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Posts: 6912
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 5:29 pm
Location: The Churning Mists
    Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:30 pm
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Alrighty, real review this time.

In the future, be sure to reply to your character app once you've made edits, so staff can just reference things quickly.

Appearance still looks good.

Personality needs a little tweaking still. The first paragraph seems to be copied twice, the same 3 sentences are just one right after the others. Make sure to fix this, maybe add in a few habits he might have?

Assuming his brutal honesty is his flaw, I would emphasize that instead of trying to make it seem like it isn't a big deal (ie: only when he [rarely] gets mad). If he's brutally honest without caring that other people may not appreciated it, that would be a good flaw to have. The point is to make him not seem like a perfect person.

I'll reference [url=http://thepeacekeepersage.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=2928]Mori[/i] again for History. There's a few things in it that need fixing.

And during this time, he was also to be taught the utmost basics to get him started in the harper craft, as his adoptive parent was a Journeyman scribe, and oft spoke of his mother’s aspirations to be one as well.


-A scribe would not be able to teach him the basics of being a Harper.

-A Harper studies at Harper Hall, the man who raised him would not be allowed to be his mentor.
--Harper Hall is indeed attached to Fort Hold, but think of it more like a college campus, he'd be staying there most of the time learning to be a Harper.

Late into his 17th turn, Yusuke disowned the man who had raised him under the pretenses that he had been lied to since he had begun his training in his craft. All of which started as rumors that he’d learned were actually true. Heartbroken, Yusuke would resign his craft training. Feeling like a piece of him was now missing after the feeling and inspiration from it all he once held disappeared, he had spent time wandering the town and outskirts to try and find anything to start up the spark again.


Considering my comments above, this doesn't really feel like it fits in his history. There are no other mentions of being lied to in his history. They could have simply grown apart, and he no longer wishes to speak to the man for one reason or another.

That also said, he can still be an apprentice harper and a candidate, the training doesn't just go away. He could pursue it later in life if he so chose.

Later down the line he had ended up where he wouldn’t have imagined, he was searched into candidacy


I would just add in a "when he was 20" in here, to reference how long after turning 17 it has been.

If you need help, feel free to ask in the character creation channel in the discord!
Fort Weyr
Senior Weyrwoman Tuckal of Gold Serapheth
[White Journey]
Weyrlingmaster Lexien of Brown Mikazuchith
Hollow of Brown Bysalth
Ni'all of Brown Calyptrath
Wa'en of Brown Galahath
Alphinaud of Green Koth
N'eth of Green Azoth
Playne of Green Iosefkath
Vartin of Amethyst Vartisk
and Garnet Varsk
[Bone Otani]
Journeyman Scribe Urianger
Semaca Weyr
Hecate of Almandine Cabadath
D'ryu of Bronze Cyroth
Aymeric of Garnet Thanatoth
Persephone of Green Amauroth
[Brown Bitey] [Blue Paladin]
Quatre of Green Wynleth
[White Sandrock]
Majima of Brown Majimask
Weyrling Ke'ro of Green Ossabhath
Candidate Pierrick
Dragonless Time
Journeyman Carpenter/Sailor Wojchek
High Reaches Weyr
G'li of Bronze Ereborth
Lelouch of Blue Isith
[Gold Banshee]
Lobelia of Blue Imeterth
Datte of White Tarith
[Green Illium]
Weyrling Zoh'tof Brown Lannith
Lanselot of Brown Selosk
JM Healer Vallauris
[Gold Aether]
Holder Xander
[Bronze Siegfried] [Blue Laslow] [Green Peri]
Wherling Mori of Gold Morsk
Weyrbrat Viola
[Garnet Ultima]
Candidate Clive
[Gold Phoenix] [Brown Ifrit] [Blue Ramuh]
[Green Garuda] [Green Shiva]
Weyrfolk Daosea
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