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Left Alone [Open]

A large, hot, sandy cavern that opens to the sky. There are stone seats and large ledges for humans and dragons to come watch the events.
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Fel
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Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:39 am

Left Alone [Open]

Most of the others had long gone, but Soonyhano still stood on the Sands, staring at the empty eggshells. His blue eyes were hard and flat as he looked over them; he'd managed to hold back tears, but only just. He'd never wondered what happened to the discarded shells after a Hatching before, but now he found himself wondering just that. Who came to collect the shattered pieces of dreams?

Why had Serapheth lied to him? Had she hoped to make things better by giving him hope for at least a short while before he was crushed by disappointment? It hadn't worked. His heart hurt far worse than it had all the other times before.

You. You are good. Do not despair, there will be someone for you.

He kept hoping they'd somehow missed a dragon. That a twin had been forgotten in the scattered shells and would make its way out and tell him he was wrong, he didn't need to feel this way at all, but there was no movement. Such a thing was impossible, but still he hoped. Because hope was all he really had.

He'd said before that dawn always followed even the blackest night, but... just then, he wasn't so sure.
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ladyweathervain
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Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:46 am

"..." so he was still here huh?

Lazu was not normally a kind person. She could be cruel. Sarcastic. Dismissive. But she knew what disappointment felt like. Knew the ache. The hurt.

Hence why she was here. Two mugs of hot cocoa in hand and a blanket slung over a shoulder. "...Well, you didnt show up at the kitchens, so I brought you this so it wouldnt get cold."

She looked out at the sands, now devoid of life. Only shells.

"...So. I guess uh. Things didnt go as planned..." she began, holding out the mug. Poor guy. That was the look of a kicked canine...
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:10 am

Soonyhano started at the sound of the voice behind him. He hadn't expected anyone to... Oh, it was Lazu. Right. He'd been supposed to meet her back inside.

"I... Sorry. I just... lost track of time, I guess," he said quietly, not looking at her. Some things simply didn't bear discussing. His continued failures were one of those things. Not just then. "I didn't mean to fail to show up."

He shook his head. "It wasn't exactly a plan. I just thought..."
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ladyweathervain
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:24 am

"...." She set the mugs down carefully and whipped the blanket over his shoulders. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna. Not right now, anyway. But. I'm sorry you didn't Impress. You probably hear that a lot."

She wasn't GOOD at peptalks. But she was gonna try. This was more Jasp's thing but...

"..." She held out the mug again for attempt two. "...I wasn't supposed to be here, you know. The dragon that came to our Hold chose my best friend Jasp. But she couldn't leave her little siblings. So she turned him down... I... got passed up." She sighed. "... But I was angry so I ended up just. Hitching a ride here on a family friend's wher cart. And showed up here asking to be a Candidate. They seemed cool with it so... here I am." She knew she was rambling, but it gave her a reason to be here. And something for him to focus on that wasn't his inner misery.

"The point is, dragons are weird. They want what they want and are just as dumb and impressionable as the rest of us." she traced some circles into the sand. "I know they seem like your whole world, but fishing used to be my whole world. And I gave it up because I found out there's more to life than that..." A pause. "And... these are literal babies. Are you gonna be sad because literal babies didn't wanna be your partner? You're better than literal babies, Soon. I've known you for like, a short while and I know that for sure."

Nailed it.
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:49 am

"I don't, actually," Soonyhano replied, finally taking the mug. Ordinarily he'd say that hot chocolate was his favorite thing to eat or drink, but just then he wasn't really in the mood. He took a sip anyway. "Most people don't say anything. Those of us who've been passed by over and over get pretty good at dealing with the disappointment ourselves."

But this time was different. Worse.

"None of us here is better than anyone else, Lazu. And I don't blame them anyway. It's not their fault. I don't deserve to Impress any more than anyone else does. It's just..." He reached up to tug the blanket a bit straighter. It was almost hot on the Sands, a blanket was more than overkill, but the gesture was kind. He wouldn't cast it aside now.

"I'd gotten accustomed to not Impressing. Then Serapheth said something to me that made me think I would is all. I was so certain. But she was wrong. Or lied. I'm not sure which is the worse possibility, to be honest."
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ladyweathervain
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:02 am

Was that what was bothering him? Serapheth had told him he would Impress? Well.

"...Well... Maybe she THOUGHT she knew what her kids were thinking. Parents tend to do that... Overestimate or underestimate their kids. No parent's perfect and I should know." She huffed. "...I don't think she did it intentionally. She seems like a mean old cuss, but she doesn't seem... y'know actively out to make candidates feel like garbage."

Clearly she didn't really get to see Serapheth that much.

Honestly, the blanket was more for when he left. It was pretty chilly... And it was getting late.

"...Look. You're probably not gonna be ok tonight so I won't bother asking. But. I think you're gonna be ok eventually. I know, I'm just a dumb new person but I'm sure that a dragon will pick you eventually. And if not, so what? The world is a big place. I'm sure you'll find something that makes you happy..."
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:53 pm

"I don't know that one will pick me. I'll be twenty-five in just a few months, and age out a Turn after that. With how infrequently golds rise, and the unreliability of garnet clutches... This might have been my last chance. At least here."

And Soonyhano wasn't sure he wanted to leave again to chase a dream that was looking increasingly like folly. Telgar had been his home, and he'd thought a change of scenery might help. Clearly it hadn't.

"I grew up at Telgar Weyr. My parents are both riders. If I'm not one... Well, my mother doesn't care whether I even exist, but to disappoint my father..."
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ladyweathervain
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Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:29 pm

"Oh. It's a parents thing, huh." lazu exhaled softly, sipping her drink. "...If it helps, I stopped caring what my parents thought of me Turns ago. They had something to say every time I did something wrong or did something they didn't like..."

Shards. She hates parents talk. But poor Soon...

"...I mean. I know we're gonna have to do that lesson eventually. What happens if you don't Impress..." Another sip. "...You still have time, I think. If not here, then elsewhere..."
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Thu Feb 28, 2019 5:55 pm

"Yes and no. He wouldn't denounce me; he's too good a man for that. He'd love me no matter what I become, I think. But at the same time, I know what he expects, and I don't want to let him down. Or myself."

Ever since he was a young child, Soonyhano had known what he wanted to be. He'd never once wavered from that hope, and he wasn't going to start now, even if there was only a tiny sliver of that hope remaining.

"I've had the lesson. Several times over the Turns. I already know where I'll go, if it comes to that." He'd be old, to start training as a guard, and an outsider to everything that life at a Hold entailed. But he couldn't remain at the Weyr, not with that sort of disappointment hanging over him.
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ladyweathervain
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Thu Feb 28, 2019 8:34 pm

"...I mean... You still have time. You've got a great attitude, you can still get a dragon, eventually, right?" Fort Weyr wasn't the only place with dragons. Other places must be LOUSY with dragons. They must have dragons comin' out the walls.

"...Ugh." She took a long swig. "Listen. Im' gonna say something really dumb. So don't you laugh at me ok?" Lazu took a deep breath. "But. I actually... got excited. To Impress. Because of you. You jerk. I just wanted to Impress to show my parents that I could amount to something. I didn't really THINK that... it would be fun. Or interesting. Dragons and whers are really weird to me. They're like people, but not... So... What Im' saying is... It makes me sad to see you sad. And I don't say that often, so I'm not gonna repeat myself."
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Sat Mar 02, 2019 12:10 am

"Maybe, sure." Soonyhano wasn't sure he really believed that though. If Serapheth had been as certain as she'd acted—and not just lying to him—and he still hadn't Impressed, maybe he didn't have it in him to become a rider. Whatever it was, maybe he lacked it.

Still, after her speech, he smiled. True, it was forced, but it was there. "Sorry. A smile better suits us all, huh?"
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ladyweathervain
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Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:52 pm

"Hey you can be sad! I just... You're like the first person I'm upset to see sad." He grumbled. "Look. It's fine. Just. Geez... You really should have gotten a dragon, that's all I'm saying." She was rubbing her face now, finishing her drink. "I don't know how to say this. Sorry. Just. I don't know how to tell people about this sort of thing... We should probably get inside eventually..."
FORT WEYR
B'yani of Brown Hyuth
Cecelia of Brown Uriangth
Lou of White Joheith
Candidate Lazu
Candidate Zul
Candidate Deviya
SEMECA
Carol of Blue Carsk
Manuel of Garnet Minevath
Candiate Theo
Candidate Ollie
HIGH REACHES
Dusleros of Brown Runth
Lars of Bronze Scabellath
Candidate Hans
Candidate Orpheus
Candidate Ganymede
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Fel
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Mon Mar 11, 2019 7:19 pm

"Or maybe I shouldn't have. That's the outcome that it's looking increasingly likely that I'll have to come to terms with. But I will. So don't be disappointed on my behalf. Maybe my life won't be what I hoped for but... It'll be something."

It didn't diminish his sorrow in the slightest, but at least he was going to attempt to put on a cheerful face. "I know. I'm just... really not in the mood to go back to the barracks right now. I can't decide if it's worse to see everyone else disappointed or relieved, knowing that some of them are glad not to have what I only wish..." He trailed off. "Sorry."
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