[CANDIDATES] The Toilet Monster

[Arcane]

I'm telling you- there's a GIANT tunnelsnake lurking in the toilet. HUGE! Like nothing you've ever seen before! I saw it, I swear!

[Dragon]

"D'you think we can catch it?" Renkestuous asked no one in particular. He wasn't entirely sure of the claims of a massive tunnelsnake in the Weyr in general or in the toilets in particular, but hey, such a creature had promise of a pranking variety! Certainly, if one could catch a giant tunnelsnake, one could then transport it to somewhere more interesting ...

[Windra]

Petraxen wasn't scared. Nope!

No. Honest. Lass was poking her head into the latrine with a very large stick in hand, bespectacled eyes on the ground and watching her feet verrrry forsking carefully. "If I get eaten, tell my mum I love her!" she chirped with a light air to his voice. Obviously she wasn't being serious!

Her poor golden fire-lizard wasn't taking that joke well and sat in a corner of the barracks, somberly and anxiously preening at a teddy bear.

"Seriously though, one of ya grab it if it gets past me, huh?"

[Fel]

"Can't be no bigger'n the hogs I wrassled back home. Some of them're the size of three grown men, and my cousins ain't no scrawny fellers. Catching It won't be no trouble at all. It comes out, I can handle it, you can betcher britches on it. I ain't scared of wrasslin' nothin'. And if it don't come out, I can make my meemaw's tunnelsnake trap bait."

Brua leaned over, trying to peer down into the latrine pit. He didn't think he saw any movement, but tunnelsnakes could be wily, stealthy beasts.

"You don't need to be scared none, miss," he added to Petraxen, who apparently thought she might be eaten. Well, everyone knew girls weren't good hunters. Even at the Weyr, where they thought girls should do jobs that they weren't suited for, that was apparently still true.

[Dragon]

Eyeing the other two candidates, Ren wondered if it was going to be possible to get away with commandeering the tunnelsnake for a prank after all. The dark-skinned one, skinny as a pole but about his height, seemed close to his age; he'd eat his scarf if the shorter, younger boy was anything other than a former cotholder. Neither of them, of course, had any taste, and they were both in clothing that Renkestuous considered to be terribly drab.

"I think the stick is probably a better move than, uh, wrassling," he pointed out. What was a meemaw and why did it have a tunnelsnake trap bait? "I mean, unless you want to climb down into the latrine." Actually, that sounded like a plan. Not for Ren. But it sounded like watching it would be hilarious. Too bad it wasn't likely to happen ...

Ren's mind was whirling as he peered down into the toilet. If he could capture the thing, he might be able to sneak it into the dining hall during a busy time. Wouldn't that cause some lovely chaos! Was that movement? "Hand me that stick, I think I saw it!"

[Windra]

Who was this backwoods hillbilly looking dimglow? Petraxen eyed him briefly over her shoulder with kind of a miffed indifference. Guy was nice, at least. Young but tall. Petraxen still towered over him. The other one? Not so much - they almost saw eye-to-eye!

She pulled the stick closer to herself and stepped further into the bathroom with just a tinge of derision. "Hey - nah, go get your own stick!" Did Ren really see something move? "Where'd ya see it?"

Petraxen was still very careful about where she stepped but her form was getting further and further into the shade. Of course the window was just a little too far away for sunlight to cast any help.

Something definitely pfshhhhss-ed behind her and Petraxen's neck rolled with goosebumps.

"Oh you sneaky - !"

[nineofswords]

Candidate King

King heard the commotion and stuck his head into the latrine. "Hey, whatcha all doing in here?" he called. "Pretty sure using the bathroom isn't a team effort, guys." He shoved through the crowd and looked down the toilet himself. "Unless one of you dropped something down there? Cause if so, uh, sorry to say, but I think it's gone for good. I don't think you want to go sticking your arm in that grossness. Yuck."

Maybe it was just his overactive imagination, but he thought something caught the light. "Hey! I think there is something down there! Hey, gimme that stick, would ya?" he said, grabbed at Petraxan's tool without waiting for permission.

[Fel]

"Who needs a stick, tunnelsnakes are just little critters anyway," Brua said, still trying to see into the latrine pit. The temptation to jump in as one Candidate suggested certainly existed. There were worse things in the world than a little excrement. However, given how overzealous that one seemed to be about brandishing her stick... well, he didn't want a lump on his head.

"You saw somethin'?" he asked King, perking up immediately. He could definitely do with some excitement. "My peepaw had a mighty tasty tunnelsnake recipe, maybe we can keep it all to ourselves if we get it!" He certainly wasn't about to let it get away from them in any case, but that would make it even more enticing a prospect.

[Dragon]

Renkestuous turned his attention briefly to a young little fellow who - wonder of wonders - was dressed in a combination of colors that implied he actually had good taste. But the brilliance of the younger boy's garments only held his attention for a moment; the little guy took the tall one's stick, and then the hick was on about his peepaw's recipe for tunnelsnake, and what was a sharding peepaw?

"Maybe some of us don't want to actually put our hands in the toilet," Ren pointed out, trying to see into the latrine without anyone getting knocked forward into it. "See? It's definitely moving down there!"

[Windra]

"For forsk's sake! Leave the stick!" Petraxen barked, jerking the heavy tool away from prying little hands. "What're the lot of ya, crows? This isn't some shiny thing it's mine - "

A flash of scales ... or ... uh, hide? Kind of hard to tell in the dim light. Petraxen nudged in to the gaggle surrounding the toilet and peered in. The latrine was a glorified pit surrounded by wood to be a little more homely and comfortable, but when it came right down to it, it was just a hole. A hole with piss and shit. She stuck out her tongue, not really wanting to go near it. There was a definite smell.

"Man I don't think it's actually in there," she tutted. "But, hey, be brave. I believe in ya! Ten marks to whoever sticks their arm in!"

[nineofswords]

Tunnelsnakes? There were tunnelsnakes now? Since when? "Wait, you eat tunnelsnakes?" King asked. "Why? There's plenty of way better things out there to eat! Like bubbly pies, and wherry pot pie, and thick herdbeast stew, and freshly baked bread, and a really gooey cheese sandwich, and..." He was just listing off food now, making himself hungry, heedless of the fact that he was next to an open latrine. Sure, he'd eaten various dubious meals while he'd been at the hold of his birth, but that was because it wasn't overflowing with food the way that Semaca was. Why would you WANT to eat things like tunnelsnake if you didn't have to? He still had not put together that the thing in the toilet everyone was focusing on was the supposed tunnelsnake.

He nodded emphatically at Renkestuous. "See? You get it! Whatever's in there, just leave it, alright?" Anyone who WANTED to put their hand in a toilet was just gross.

"Stop yelling at me, Faranth!" King snapped back at Petraxan, jerking his hand away from the stick. "I didn't know it was special to you, or whatever," he grumbled to himself, crossing his arms and clearly pouting. He hadn't done anything wrong, he'd just been trying to help! Not his fault that Petraxan had a stick that they didn't feel like sharing...

He shrieked in disgust at Petraxan's offer, though. "Oh gross! No way! Why would you say that, now someone might actually do it!" He was horrified, grossed out...and honestly, a little morbidly curious to see if anyone would.

[Fel]

"Why wouldn't you eat tunnelsnake? They got meat on 'em, and even the ones what've got poison bites're safe to eat. They store the poison in them big fangs, the rest is fine," Brua said with a shrug. His approach to food was that if it wasn't going to make you sick, there was probably a way to cook it properly.

Of course, cooking was mostly women's work save for the cooking men sometimes did while out on a hunting trip. His peepaw knew ways to cook the things he could scrounge up, but he didn't know how to make an elaborate meal, and therefore Brua didn't either. Once again, the Weyr seemed to have other ideas though. Honestly, the way some people lived. It was ridiculous.

At Petraxen's goading however, he immediately perked up. "Deal!" he immediately shouted. It wasn't like he hadn't experienced most of the contents of a latrine in one form or other before. Livestock didn't typically have the decency to contain their waste to a single location. Plus manure was used as a fertilizer. It was gross, sure, but it wasn't like the end of the world.

Without a second thought, he immediately plunged his arm in.

[Dragon]

Crows? Well, Ren did like shiny things ... and bright colors. He was fine with being called a crow.

"It's just a stick; there's no reason to be all possessive of it." But Renkestuous didn't try to grab the thing. At least he'd asked, but it wasn't worth being all clingy about it. He wished that he'd brought a stick! He wanted that tunnelsnake; his mind was whirling as he tried to figure out what to do with it.

He snorted when the tall person offered ten marks to anyone who would stick their arm in. He agreed with the short, brightly dressed boy; tunnelsnakes were not for eating, and no one in their right mind would stick their arm in the toilet.

... except apparently hick-boy wasn't in his right mind, because he stuck his arm in the latrine. "Oh, gross!"

[Windra]

"HUGGHH!"

Oh, poor lad. Petraxen watched Brua's hand soared like an erroneous bird who hadn't plotted out its destination to know the landing pad. Flying South took on a newer meaning very quickly.

"Brua no - "

Oh the smell - ! Brua definitely ... freshened things up in there. Whatever was sitting gave a belch of unpleasant air. Petraxen whirled on her feet and took a step from the doorway, leaning on her knees.

"Oh ... oh my man ... Brua ... Took some nuts there ... hrrk ... feel anythin' but corn in there?"