"A brand new soul collides with the world, and in that moment a flash of righteous light beats back the darkness. There's a name for that spark.
We call it rage."
-- Aggretsuko
BASICS
NAME: Retsuko
GENDER: Female
PRONOUNS: She/Her/Hers
ORIENTATION: Cisgender heterosexual
BIRTHDATE: Summer 2751
AGE: 25 as of Summer 2776
LOCATION: Fort Weyr
OCCUPATION: Candidate, Apprentice Scribe
WING: N/A
APPEARANCE
EYES: Green
HAIR: Ginger
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 5' and stocky.
PLAY-BY: N/A
EXPY SOURCE: Retsuko (Aggretsuko)
FULL APPEARANCE: Retsuko is short. Like, very short. She doesn't stick out like a sore thumb and she's fine with that. If anything, she's the needle in a haystack. Pale skin is pocketmarked by even paler splotches that form raccoon circles around her eyes and extend into the forelock of her hair, giving a dash of white to an otherwise astoundingly orange mane that weaves and waves. Brilliant green eyes are like jewels from the piebald pallor. Retsuko's eyebrows are small and rounded. She isn't skinny or fat, athletic or sedentary. This girl has settled into somewhere comfortable in between - with pudge in just the right areas.
Following a wher attack in 2776, Retsuko's right arm is a mangled shadow of its former self. A sizeable chunk of her brachioradialus and flexor carpi radialis muscles have been torn from her, severely limiting the arm's mobility and essentially stripping it of strength. Several deep scars where teeth broke the skin run the entire length of her forearm, which is mottled and pocketed with deep scars and ravines where sutures held her together for recovery.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY: When she counts to ten, Retsuko is a mild-mannered candidate ... She blends into her surroundings by trying to not make herself stand out, but doing so turns her into a huge pushover. Insults and grievances exacted against her are met with a pleasant smile and small nods - she hears you, she's listening ... but a cauldron is slowly building in her gut, threatening to explode. Retsuko is a master of compartmentalizing until she has to release the pressure.
Which is screaming it into the unknown.
When it all becomes too much, Retsuko seeks out a place of solitude in the Weyr's outskirts, or a weyr cavern shuttered away from view, and belts it all out in a screeching death growl that could easily be mistaken for an angry dragon. It's impressive how quick her tone can change when she lets her frustrations dictate her octaves. Retsuko has a powerful voice if she would just direct it into meaningful practice or be less insecure of what others might say if she stood up for herself.
Though Retsuko herself is not holdbred, her parents were. She instilled with the simple desire for a relatively simple, easygoing life. A partner. A family. But she also wants to succeed in the Weyr and is diligent enough to make a name for herself if she chooses to pursue, and those contrasting desires are bound to come into conflict with one another.
In 2776, a moment of overconfidence left her permanently scarred by a feral brown wher. In the days since, she has been plagued with a creeping fear of the dragons' cousins - not so much that she stays away but more that she is acutely aware of their presence and will stand much further from them than others. It hasn't much deterred her intent to Impress, although she seems more heavily inclined to bond with a dragon over a wher.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Katilinn - mother (51)
Tolivier - father (54)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: N/A
BIRTHPLACE: Fort Weyr
HISTORY: Retsuko is a born and raised Fort Weyrbrat, though not through the typical means of 'dragonrider x dragonrider = offspring'. Her parents both failed in candidacy and never stepped forth to bond to whers, but found comfort and meaning in their lives within the Weyr without trying to go beyond what they were. Both were/are drudges, spending their time and energy taking care of random bits and bobs in need of repair and cleaning. Though Retsuko was indeed a part of the creche, her family was far less restricted in time than the dragonriders and often brought their daughter with them during their errands when she was old enough.
Retsuko was aged enough to understand the dispute with High Reaches Weyr - particularly Golre - and smart enough to keep her hand down when attacks came their way. She dutifully assisted by transporting firestone and medical supplies when the need arose in different parts of the Weyr, something she continued to do when the threat of war dissipated and Thread became the only true concern. Retsuko managed through plague and famine just fine. She sought mentorship with a Weyr harper and became an apprentice scribe beneath Ton, where she would fine-tune and diligently record goings-on.
But Ton? He was a dick. Insightful, rigid, and well-learned but ... kind of a bully. Retsuko would really shine with a little bit of buffing from her mentor, but it came at the cost of her sanity - to where she nearly said "screw it" several dozen times and, instead, bore the brunt to come out gleaming on the other end. She was found to be really, really good with numbers and had a keen eye. On the other hand, Retsuko started to grapple with growing frustration: at Ton, at the unvisited fear she'd felt during Golre's reign of terror and the helplessness with crop blight and disease. Her rage really started coming to light when Z'osh staged his coup. Eager to continue ducking out of view, she internalized her fear and growing anger - it was unbecoming to unveil it to the world - and screamed it into the void when nobody was near enough to hear her. It was until the 2770s that she started discovering all of the previous turns events were having an effect on her - stressing her to the core, pushed to the edge by Z'osh's imperialistic actions against garnets. But she was not about to open her mouth and paint herself a target.
It was a relief when he was exiled, but that breath of fresh air was hastily replaced by apprehension. What would happen next ... ? Who knew? And at the age of 25, with aging out of candidacy looming on the horizon ... what was her future going to look like? Drudgery in the Weyr wasn't terrible, but did she want to become more? Was being a dragonrider really in her future, or could it be something ... different?
One thing was for sure though. Grateful as she was for Ton's teachings, she said 'sayonara' and started balancing between three choices - become a rider or handler, work in the Weyr, or pursue a journeyman title.
UPDATES
- During the early spring of 2776, Retsuko assists a band of wherhandlers and wher candidates in the rescue of a feral brown wher who became entangled in heavy brush and vines. She attempts to smear numbweed on the thrashing beast's wounds, only to end up on the foul side of his angry teeth. Her right arm is mangled and broken from the encounter. It will never recover to full strength again and has limited mobility, as well as horrid scarring.