Living life, everyday
Late at night, not okay
All I want and I pray
All I need, are some better days
(NEFFEX, Better Days)
BASICS
NAME: Eachyshmi (E'shmi), goes by Eachy
GENDER: Masculine
PRONOUNS: Masculine (he/him/his)
ORIENTATION: Straight, but not really looking
BIRTHDATE: Early Summer 2760
AGE: 17 as of 2777
LOCATION: Fort Weyr
OCCUPATION: Candidate
WING: N/A
APPEARANCE
EYES: Gray
HAIR: Black
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 6' 0"
PLAY-BY: Shōya Ishida (A Silent Voice)
EXPY SOURCE: Shōya Ishida (A Silent Voice)
FULL APPEARANCE:
Eachyshmi is a tall and lanky young man, though he's reasonably strong from Turns of life in a Weyr. Between his raven black hair and flinty blue-gray eyes, he's an attractive enough sort and might easily draw one's eye, in spite of his best efforts. Regarding his wardrobe, his clothes might be neat enough, but he himself is rarely presentable in them. Something about Eachy is always in disarray, whether his shirt is untucked or his shirt hangs off one shoulder, and he rarely puts forth much effort to better manage his appearance.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY:
Most notably, Eachyshmi is a very introverted person, enough to be called anti-social at times. Leading a life of solitude and somewhat self-imposed isolation from others, he flounders in most social situations, finding them difficult and frightening to navigate. Eye contact is often a struggle for him, and understanding his own and others' emotions more so. Due to mistakes he made in his youth, Eachy is full of guilt and remorse, self-loathing and shame. As a result, he feels he isn't worthy of most things in life, and struggles to find a place where he feels he has none; he sees himself as a puzzle piece that doesn't fit, and doesn't belong. Afraid of history repeating itself, whether on his own part or not, he keeps others at arm's length, to protect himself and others from further hurt.
But underneath his sorrow and anguish, Eachyshmi is actually a kind and oddly gentle sort. Though his history still glaringly haunts him in negative ways, it's also made him into a mature and somber young man. Though quiet and reserved, he's very loyal and devoted to those rare few in his life for whom he cares, so much so as to sacrifice his own happiness and wellbeing for what they need or want. Feeling he still needs to repent for his errors, he's a hard worker, and extremely driven once he's found a goal he needs to achieve. Though he still struggles to forgive himself for what he's done, and will always find it hard to trust himself and others, some part of him dares hope that things might look better in a not-so-distant future, like a ray of light in a constant darkness.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Father - dragonrider - living (presumed)
Mother - weyrfolk - living
Sister (older) - dragonrider - living
Niece - weyrbrat - living
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: N/A
BIRTHPLACE: Ista Weyr
HISTORY: (TW: bullying, depression, attempted suicide)
Eachyshmi was born to an unassuming weyrfolk of Ista Weyr, his father a dragonrider who wasn't particularly involved in his son's life. Though his mother was an active and dedicated parent, Eachy still spent a majority of his time in Ista's creche, often while his mother was occupied by her duties. But he was an energetic and rambunctious little boy, and spurred on by his older sister's wisdom that he ought to make life more interesting for himself as what could be seen as a battle against monotony, he found his own ways of keeping himself entertained. As a result, he ended up a difficult and somewhat rebellious child, disregarding elders and disrupting lessons, as well as finding himself unable to really connect or empathize with his peers.
These issues worsened as a new child joined them, her family transferring from another Weyr, who stood apart from everyone by being born mostly deaf. Eachy, alongside a couple other classmates, started picking on her relentlessly; they belittled her attempts to connect through PSL and writing, hid her notebook and other belongings from her, and went so far as to imply that she was why her friend's transfer to another Weyr, though it was truly to flee Eachy's bullying too. But Eachy took it too far one day, and what he thought was one of his usual harmless pranks actually hurt his classmate. In wake of severe reprimands, extra chores, and other consequences, that poor girl transferred to another Weyr, and his own friends began drifting away, some quicker than others, until Eachy found himself isolated from his peers.
As he aged into his adolescent Turns, Eachyshmi realized what he had done, which manifested into extreme guilt and self-loathing. In poetic retribution, he was bullied himself, by some he'd once considered cohorts and companions. Accepting that he was on his own, he withdrew into a solitary and reserved young man, keeping his head down and hiding how his past affected him. But it festered like an open wound on his soul until he eventually broke, and almost attempted to end his life. But a single thought stopped him; before he left it all behind, he wanted to see his former classmate again, to properly apologize and try to make things right for her. But he had no idea where she had gone, and couldn't ask for help. So he vowed to do this himself, knowing he had no choice due to his circumstances, and unknowingly saved himself in so doing.
Being Weyrbred, Eachy had been a Candidate of Ista for a couple Turns prior to this change of heart, though he'd been since unchosen, as he'd expected going into it. But as a dragonrider, he'd be able to better find his former classmate, and hopefully give her some measure of closure. But that was dependent on a dragon seeing him, knowing all he had done, as a worthy companion. But some part of him still dared to hope that perhaps there'd be one dragon would look upon him not in disdain, and be willing to tolerate him for all its days. Feeling he had to start fresh, Eachy put in for transfer to Fort, and was relieved that he was cleared to go.
UPDATES
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