Tue Aug 18, 2020 6:06 pm
- Link
Princess Quarrel
Spring 2770, just after the Princesses debacle
Shiro has just been thrown off the Council, along with the rest of the bronze riders, and he and Lalauth are discussing the merits of moving back to Fort.
trauma response, death, long-term injury
"Lalauth, you're yelling again." It wasn't that Shiro didn't want to yell too, but it would hardly do to have the whole Weyr hear their discussion. Argument, really, in the way they hadn't argued since partway through weyrlinghood.
I am not yelling, I am using the Royal Fort Voice, as is proper when making proclamations.
Ever since she was a hatchling, Lalauth had referred to this somewhat enhanced scream as the Royal Fort Voice. The name did not change when they transferred over to High Reaches, a fact Shiro was agitated enough to point out.
"We aren't even at Fort anymore, Lalauth!"
And whose fault is that?
That stung. Shiro wasn't an idiot, contrary to recent belief. He knew the gossip about him said that he'd gone to Fort to Impress his bronze and then brought her (some of the rumors got her pronouns right, most of it didn't bother) back to High Reaches. That he'd been so determined to ride a metallic dragon that he changed weyrs to make it happen.
Never mind that Shiro was scarred to the Red Star and back from Golre's bronze riders and their insistence that he would join their ranks. Never mind that his primary response to being deposed from the Council was relief that he wouldn't be forced to work with the much more traditional bronze rider who'd been elected his junior. Never mind that the biggest argument he and Lalauth had ever had was about her color.
"You know why we came back here."
He came back shaking and so scared he'd been too nauseated to eat for days, but they'd come back. He came back to support his twin, who he'd proceeded to fail again and again. There had been such a small period of time, in the scheme of things, where things looked like they might work out. That was before Shiro's Fall plans got Cresceth killed and Sven maimed.
And look where that got us!
Shiro slumped, hardly noticing how his back hit the wall as he slid down it. Look where that got them, indeed. The alliance between Fort and High Reaches that had allowed him to transfer both ways, shattered. Confidence in the elected Council in ruins. The wings, decimated from the inexperience of two bronze riders. His twin, dragonless, from a formation he'd approved. And now this, fighting with his own dragon.
His eyes went unfocused as he stared at his knees, his hands, the floor. Anything but the situation in front of him. Could he stand to stay at a weyr that stole eggs? Would Fort even let him transfer back, after he'd been on the Council this happened under? Certainly Telgar had no such compunctions, given that Junior Flightleader Z'kon returned home rather than deal with this fallout.
For that matter, did he want to go to a Weyr that held life so cheaply that first it let a queen tear through her bronzes and then killed her once she gave them a clutch? How was that any different from the captive queens once held by High Reaches and Benden? Shiro's stomach churned at the idea of letting Lalauth chase a gold again after Nornth's massacre.
He wasn't able-bodied enough to justify going to Semaca. His right arm and hand weren't quite useless, but it would be hard to help with the weyr's upkeep. The lack of dexterity would be the hard part, since he had worked diligently to build the strength in that arm as much as he could. It was enough to get him and Lalauth through Thread, but he doubted he could build anything with efficacy. Certainly a drawback if he were to contribute anything to a weyr without tithing holds.
As he considered and discarded potential courses of action, Shiro found his thoughts returning to a few key points.
One, High Reaches was home. It was a home filled with ghosts and pain and trauma, but it was his.
Two, there was a very slim chance that Sven would also transfer. He had stayed at High Reaches through the rebuilding, braver than Shiro had ever been. Maybe his loyalty was more complete than Shiro's. Even without his dragon, Sven's home was High Reaches, too.
Three, Shiro had abandoned his duties and his family enough times. Running to Fort as soon as Golre and her bronzes were dead when High Reaches needed to be rebuilt. Cringing back to High Reaches when Fort had welcomed him, let him regain enough confidence to take to the Sands again. Sven needed him. He couldn't abandon him now.
And me? Do I not merit consideration in your plan? It was the quietest tone the bronze had adopted since their disagreement began.
Shiro wiped his face, only a little surprised to find himself wiping away tears. It was such an awful situation all around, from the mother who'd found her eggs stolen to the shattered reputation of High Reaches. They had lost valuable allies in this, and Shiro had no answers for any of it. If the Council had been involved, he wouldn't have agreed to it. Would have argued against it. The Reaches were in trouble, that much was true, but this only hurt them further.
"What do you want to do?"
Lalauth's answer came slowly. I want to fix this. I want answers. I want to know who is determined to tear our home apart.
A slow nod. Shiro climbed to his feet and went to his dragon. He leaned his forehead against her neck. It was hard to find their footing when it felt like they were being swept in the tide of scandal.
"Then we stay."