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Pan's Soliloquies

A place to put drabbles, one-shots, theme challenges, letters to other characters, and other assorted in-character bits.
Pan
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Pan's Soliloquies

Table of Contents
-Current-
1. The Adoring - Arkta of Green Arktask (Fort Weyr, 2769)
2. Processing the Pain - E'nyo of White Nohadoth (Semaca Weyr, 2770)
3. Failure of White Disappointmenth - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2770)
4. On the wings of kings - E'nyo of White Nohadoth (Semaca Weyr, 2770)
5. The Glory of Impression - Ky'ze of Blue Olarith (Semaca Weyr, 2767)
6. Little Lady Laceyl - E'nyo of White Nohadoth (Semaca Weyr, 2770)
7. Taking flight in the moonlight - Viiox of Green Crimioth (Semaca Weyr, 2771)
8. You are BABY - N'vir of Green Plemeth (High Reaches Weyr, 2771)
9. Golden Greed - Sigil of Green Euraroth (High Reaches Weyr, 2771)
10. Stages of Grief, Part I: Denial - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2770)
11. Stages of Grief, Part II: Anger - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2770)
12. Stages of Grief, Part III: Bargaining - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2770)
13. Stages of Grief, Part IV: Anger...again - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2770)
14. Stages of Grief, Part V: Depression...and acceptance - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2771)

15. Child of the Sun - Liau of Blue Chugoth (High Reaches, 2762)
16. We All Make Mistakes - Lace of Garnet Rozeth (Fort Weyr, 2765)
17. Breaking the Pattern - Y'suba of Brown Einth (Semaca Weyr, 2769)
18. Dragonflight - Nova of White Scryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2771)
19. Gold Fever - Nova of White Scryth / Candidate Nyrida (High Reaches Weyr, 2771)
20. You can be king again - L'renn of Blue Egaliath (Fort Weyr, 2772)
21. I would kill for you - Crux of White Miasmath (Telgar Weyr, 2769)
22. Reflections - K'rou of Blue Nonaryth (High Reaches Weyr, 2772)

-Planned-
See google doc titled "Sari's Soliloquies and One Shots"
-Priorities: Off-Screen Impressions (and the two I'm about to add)
Note: Sari's Soliloquies sounded way more fun than Pan's, but I have a BRAND.

Code: Select all
[center][b]Title[/b]
[i][color=]Name of Color Name[/color] - Weyr, (season if applicable) Turn[/i][/center]
Last edited by Pan on Sat Oct 02, 2021 7:16 am, edited 30 times in total.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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The Adoring
Arkta of Green Arktask - Fort Weyr, 2769


Their home had forsaken them.

That was the way of it, wasn't it? She had never thought she'd feel hurt by a place, and yet, here she was. Cast out of Fort Hold, alongside Mystacor, she had nowhere to go. There were places that might welcome her, of course, and the most obvious was Fort Weyr, but did she want to go to the place that had, so long ago, made her dearest friend abandon her?

No. She didn't. But she was going there anyways. Mystacor said it would be best. Mystacor said they had to. Mystacor said that there would be room for ambitions at the Weyr, as well. Shards, Arkta was sick to death of Mystacor. If she could, she'd leave Mystacor behind. Why didn't she, then? She was her own person, as Arktask reminded her. It wasn't just that she was afraid of Mystacor; she was also afraid of another abandonment. Arkta had been seen as slightly more worthy by Mystacor since her Impression, but Arkta was still scorned by the only family figure she had.

Arkta found herself here, standing in her new quarters. All her own, somewhere to stay. Annoyed, she dropped her bags in front of the bed, glancing around the room with a scowl. She just wanted to go home, to go back to how things were. Forsk those forsking rebels, kicking out wherhandlers. It just wasn't right. Unfair.

And what Arkta do about? Arktask asked--a genuine question. What would Arkta do? Just sit and feel sorry for herself? Or make the best of the situation?

I'll be the one calling the shots.

Lazy Arkta never call shots. Lazy Arkta need Arktask. The wher snorted, pacing the room idly. Arkta bristled at her wher's comments, but could not deny it. She wasn't motivated to do the work, but she wanted to carve out a name, a legacy. She just wanted to be someone, even if she couldn't be someone at Fort Hold.

She'd show them all. She'd show Mystacor and Adora. Shards, she'd show the entirety of Fort Hold! She'd become great, and they could just sharding watch as she...

Kinda tired from all that, she remarked, suddenly. The energy she'd been riding--her frustration at the situation, the adrenaline of it all--disappeared suddenly, leaving her drained, tired, and melancholy. Heaving a sigh, she fell onto her bed, and closed her eyes.

Here she was, away from home, the place she'd been raised. As far as she cared, Fort Hold was home, and Fort Weyr was a strange, alien place. What's worse is that she was in the same place as Adora and Mystacor. Adora, the reminder of her abandonment, the friend who'd left her for a promise of hoping for sharding dragons. Mystacor, the one who'd shaped so much of her life, but had never quite approved of her in the same way. Mystacor had adored Adora. That's who it was all about, wasn't it? Shards. Arkta hated this. It was unfair! She just...she just wanted to go home.

What would she do now?

((May not be canon, because I'm not sure what Mystacor is up to, but I wanted to explore Arkta's feelings around the move a bit.))
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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    Sun May 10, 2020 4:21 am
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Processing the Pain - wip, probably
E'nyo of White Nohadoth - Semaca Weyr, 2770


Nohadoth's wing and leg had healed...as much as they would. The bone had set, and there was, no longer, any need to protect his injuries. No...now it would just be settling into their new normal. They could go back to work, but work was different now. No flying thread. No flying at all. Chopin Squad. It wasn't the worst place to be, but it wasn't where the pair wanted to be. They missed their wing. They missed fighting thread.

Nohadoth, for his part, seemed to be doing slightly better--but only slightly. He stood in the weyrbowl, stretching his wings out. The damaged one moved stiffly, accompanied by a dull, but manageable, ache. That, it seemed, would never entirely go away.

The white glanced towards the sky as a dragon flew over them. A blue, one with pale hide and narrow wings. The blue maneuvered in the air, flipping onto his side, while his rider yelled in excitement. An older weyrling? A younger adult dragon? Someone who just enjoyed the thrill of flight? Nohadoth gave a soft whimper at the sight, and slowly, gently, he raised his wings, before lowering them, folding them against his back, once more.

E'nyo sighed. Her dragon had been so different since the injury. He'd barely spoken. Nohadoth echoed the sigh, lowering his head. His hide, snow white with gray, marble-like markings, seemed more gray with every day. He stared up to the skies. Silent.

No wise remarks. No cheerful or obnoxious comments. He hadn't even cursed much since finding out the news.

Only time would tell how he would recover emotionally, but...he yearned to touch the sky, once more.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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    Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:40 am
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Failure of White Disappointmenth
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, 2770 (2761, 2757)

Scryth was tired. They'd just hatched, and that had been quite the ordeal. Nova, however, couldn't sleep. They glared at Scryth's sleeping form, their mind wandering as they stoked the fires of this injustice within their heart. How many bronzes had passed them up? And Aldoeith, choosing a different candidate? All that could be forgiven, but...they were now tied down. And to Scryth. Their dreams of ruling the Weyr upon gold or bronze, of returning High Reaches to the golden era that their father had loved so much...gone. They were inferior, now. A failure, rider of a disappointment. They had failed. What would their father think? Well. They knew that well enough, didn't they?




The turn was 2761, an unassuming day in Winter.

A young Nova stood in their father's weyr. It just so happened that today, this lovely winter evening, was this young individual's birthday. Though it was fifteen turns ago they were given life, it was only today that they would become a candidate.

A'raen looked at them--the only child he accepted as his own, regardless of his traditional nature, and Nova's new pronouns. Proud, despite the low rank of his child as of today, he placed his hands on Nova's shoulders. "Nova. Today you take your place as a candidate. Keep in mind, you are not like those lowly other candidates. You are destined for greatness. Gold or bronze, it matters not--but you have the blood of bronzes in your veins."

They nodded, beaming up at the bronzerider. "Yes, father," they said, eyes wide. They were destined for greatness! A'raen was right. They may be a candidate, but they would not be for long. No matter how they waited, eventually, their bronze or gold would be worth it.

"Good. I will not accept any less from you. Some of your classmates will be chromaticriders, but their lowly role will be none of your concern. Others may even ride white. You ought not associate with these failures." His face softened. "I am so, so proud of you, Nova. You are taking your first steps towards coming into your own. You will become one of Golre's favored metallic riders." They smiled at their father, and A'raen smiled back. Soon, they would stand for their first hatching, and prove their worth at High Reaches.

Oh, how they looked forward to their Impression.





Now that Nova had Impressed, however...they only felt bitter. A'raen would have scorned them, disowned them, of that they were certain. No amount of love could forgive Impressing Scryth. As they looked back to their white dragon, their brow now knitted, as their anger faded to pain, hurt. A'raen was the only one who had mattered to them, even after he was gone, and here Nova was, the lowest of the low. Even other white dragons weren't as useless as they would be. Flightless and weak, could Scryth even be in a ground crew?

Dubious. They gave a soft sigh. Here, in their weyr, they could relax. How had it come to this? How had they become a failure? Were they even worth anything, anymore? Without a gold or bronze, and with...Scryth...they were, undeniably, a failure, they thought to themselves. As the memory of their father remained, a tear came to their eye. They couldn't keep his legacy alive. He would be ashamed of them, and now that he was gone, well...perhaps it made it worse. They knew he wouldn't accept them, but he wouldn't have the chance to disown them. Each time they had declared themselves the child of A'raen, the bronzerider, they had prepared his name to be dragged even further through the mud.

And their own name, as well. Ashamed. Not of how they had behaved, but of what they had Impressed. They put their head into their hands, a soft sniffle sounding from them. Here, in the privacy of their new rooms, they allowed themselves to feel sorrow. No one would ever take them seriously. They would never BE anyone. They had fallen from grace, fallen from their powerful place. Now they were nothing. Bitterly, they hated the world. Hated High Reaches. Hated the other weyrlings. Hated Aldoeith and Toki. Hated Scryth. Everyone except their father.




2757. Nova was nineteen. A'raen had left with Golre to fight Fort, and they eagerly awaited word of his return, his victory. Golre, who would lead them to salvation, and A'raen, who would, someday,be her second in command. Perhaps someday, Nova would even take the mantle from one of them. But for now, they just waited.

Until...the sound of keening, strong and all at once, touched their ears. "Who? Who was it?" they asked, to no one in particular. They looked around the weyrbowl, noting how each rider either lowered their gaze, or lifted it towards the skies. Hope, written on some faces. Joy, even. Joy? How? Some riders seemed mournful, as was proper, but...surely, it couldn't be Golre, could it?

"Golre. And the bronzes. All of them." A bluerider, from her knots, spoke softly. She, despite her rank, at least had the decency to mourn.

"A'raen? Allordrith?" Nova's voice was pleading, a change from the chilly, disinterested, even disdainful tone they usually used.

For a while, the bluerider did not respond. Finally, she turned towards Nova, meeting their eyes. "I'm sorry." Nova just stared, as their hands balled into fists. No. No, this rider was wrong! Lying! Lying, filthy blueriders! Useless, beneath them!

But, as they would discover, it was not a lie. Their father was gone. Golre was gone. And now...now, they had no choice but to usher High Reaches towards it's second golden era.





They hadn't realized it, but they were crying, now. Scryth lifted their head, slowly crawling towards their rider. They placed their head on Nova's lap, and their rider looked down at them, tears in their eyes. You are not a failure, even if I am a disappointment. I will...help you through this, if you will let me, they said, softly, nuzzling their rider's stomach, despite the effort it took.

If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you. Dragonless or not. Nova's empty threat, no matter how cruel, was accompanied by them wrapping their arms gently around the tiny dragon, sobbing. Any comfort, even if it was Scryth, was welcome, right now. They just needed someone. Anyone. In this moment--and the moment wouldn't last forever--their heart entwined with Scryth's, and they sobbed into their hide. Dignified, regal, arrogant Nova...where were they? Now they were nothing. Had nothing. Their hopes and dreams--no, their expectations and entitlement--all gone. And Scryth was to blame.

They would hate Scryth again in the morning, but for now, they simply clung to their dragon and cried. What were they crying about? Everything. Absolutely everything. Everything they'd built themselves up to be, all the expectations that had been put on them--even if by themselves. Suddenly, the weight of their pride crushed them. They had nothing. They were no one.

Worse. They were Nova of White Scryth.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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    Fri Jul 03, 2020 7:56 am
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On the wings of kings
E'nyo of White Nohadoth - Fort, Late Fall 2770


It had been about two or three seasons since Nohadoth's injury. Just as Arena had said--he'd plateaued. No more hope of flight, no more hope of thread fighting. How could they be useful? While Nohadoth was adjusting, he still had taken it hard, and seemed almost a shadow of the playful, fiery dragon he used to be.

It was time for a change. E'nyo had signed them up for the assistant Weyrlingmaster role. Something to keep them busy, make Nohadoth feel useful. Make herself feel useful. Maybe they couldn't fly, but that wouldn't stop them from leaving an impact, making a change. If they couldn't fly thread, they'd help the next generation do it.

Nohadoth, surprisingly, seemed to cheer up after they'd been approved to fill the role. He almost looked forward to it. While there were no weyrlings at the time, he hoped that soon, there would be a clutch. He wanted to be around little ones, the new, fresh dragons, so full of life.

He almost felt...happy?
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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Posts: 1215
Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2019 7:53 am
    Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:00 am
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The Glory of Impression
Ky’ze of Blue Olarith - Semaca Weyr, 2767


TW: Blood/Violence/Mauling, trauma (especially for dragon)

As they entered the sands, they held their head high. Kyzier knew they would Impress. They’d felt it, a stirring from within the egg--their egg. That wonderful connection, the feeling that the dragon within had chosen them. They recalled the moment, as they bowed to Nebulaeth, of perfection. The Alpha Ursae seemed to settled for only a moment before it burst with this overwhelming dashing feeling, with this sense of rogueish charm, latching right on to Kyzier's mind and deeply desiring the feeling of connection.

A good egg, too. Not gold or bronze, most likely, but they didn’t mind horribly. At Semaca, their ambitions could be sated with any color, and shiny/big, while fun, wasn’t something they were married to. They would love their dragon, no matter what. A grin found its way onto their face, a daydreamy expression as they thought of the egg--their egg! It was a good egg, too. Dashing, bold, and wonderful. Quite the charmer!

Finally! Their day had come!

As they settled in, starting to chat with some nearby candidates, they offered a wave to their sister. Anoni, in the stands, was such a staunch supporter of them, and they were happy to see she’d come to witness their moment. How would their Impression go? You only got one perfect moment, and this would be it. They were thrilled, bouncing back on their heels. It would be the moment of their life that everything would change, that would make everything PERFECT.

Still, they watched with interest as each egg hatched. The first green may not have been Kyzier’s, but shards, she was so cute, and Kyzier did love watching dragon babies. As the hatching progressed, they grew more fidgety, but also more excited. Their egg would be soon...sooner with each passing hatching. Even if their egg was last, they’d wait, and that moment approached closer with each second.

Then, Horror Phobia hatched. The sixth egg. They marveled at the shiny blue, and Kyzier did not notice the strangeness in his body language. As the blue approached, Kyzier offered a grin. Not their dragon, but--

The blue--they’d later know his name as Ophoth, terrible and terrifying--attacked. In a flurry of tooth and nail, claw and maw, Kyzier fell to the ground. The dragon on top of them ripped into flesh, and the pain was searing, beyond anything they’d ever experienced. Their arms, their legs...it all hurt. Even once the blue had left, they lay on the sands, stunned. Their arm, in particular, ached--but their legs, their legs. Bloodied, if not broken, they couldn’t stand. Their mind felt fuzzy with the pain. They first thanked Faranth when the healers approached, the people who, in their mind, could soothe the pain, help patch them up, so they could Impress.

When the healers insisted they leave the sands--first Beliana, then two more--they thought, “forsk this.” They couldn’t--their dragon would between without them! They were, of course, reassured that this wasn’t the case, but even still. They needed their dragon. Their dragon needed them. They’d known--they’d known it was their dragon, and they were so close. With disoriented stubbornness, they’d refused to budge. ”Just a moment longer,” they remembered saying. ”My dragon is almost here.” They needed to stay--they did! They were barely lucid and couldn’t stand, but despite the healer’s best efforts, they remained where they were. Just when the healers were ready to move them by force…Alpha Ursae hatched.

They watched, stunned, as the glorious blue--iridescent, as far as their addled mind was aware--joyfully strutted across the sands. He was so beautiful, so handsome...and as the self-assured dragon’s eyes turned onto Kyzier, he Impressed--at first, a joyful, perfect moment. Just like they’d imagined...beyond the pain and blood. A smile touched their face at the sight of those rainbows.

The beauty of the moment was instantly shattered.

Olarith’s eyes whirled with confusion and pain. The hatchling, his mind so young, struggled to process all that Kyzier felt. He spread his wings, eyes whirling with grayish yellows, as the panic set in. No! they cried, but the word didn’t even reach their lips. Quickly, one of the healers grabbed the dragon. He flailed, trying to break free, his heart set on betweening, even as he was pushed into Kyzier’s arms. They held him tightly, despite the ache of their broken arm. They likely worsened the break by doing so, but shards, what was an arm compared to their dragon’s life?

Olarith was traumatized and had almost betweened. Because of them. Their heart broke as the dragon panicked, and even once he settled down, clinging to Kyzier, the distressed wailing that came from their dragon made tears rush to their eyes. ”I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” they muttered, over and over again. As they were escorted to the infirmary, they didn’t hear the harsh responses of the frustrated and upset healers. They were too busy holding their dragon, mentally promising him it would be okay. Their heart ached. Not for themselves...but for him. For Olarith. He hadn’t deserved it.

Softly, the dragon spoke, for the first time. Not shielding his thoughts from anyone around him. The healers heard his first word, shaky and afraid. Why? The distress that radiated from their dragon...he thought they were both going to die. He just wanted the pain to stop. And even still...he believed in Kyzier. He wanted them to fix it.

Oh, shards...they’d really forsked up this time, hadn’t they?
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
Pan
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    Sat Sep 19, 2020 9:39 am
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Little Lady Laceyl
E'nyo of White Nohadoth - Semaca Weyr, Winter 2770

E'nyo hoped that a new firelizard might help Nohadoth. Sure, it was a gamble--never knew what you might get--but she bought an egg from some travelling traders in hope of something to give Nohadoth a nurturing feeling. Maybe taking care of another Mid would give him something to do while the eggs hardened on the sands, before the new weyrling class would join the ranks of the weyr. Before they would teach their first class...

E'nyo sat in her weyr, along with Nohadoth, when the egg seemed ready to hatch. It twitched a few times, but the movement seemed regulated, calm, even meticulous. "Do you think we'll get a white? Maybe a green?" Egg size didn't matter much for firelizards, but the egg was rather small in shape.

Maybe... Nohadoth replied, not willing to commit. As E'nyo smiled encouragingly, he added, I think I'd like that.

E'nyo knew that Nohadoth had a preference towards his own color, especially following the injury, feeling more safe around those who ranked like him. Sure, a firelizard didn't have the same concerns as a dragon, or even a wher, but Nohadoth didn't seem to care. The tiny egg gave one last twitch, before splitting in two...revealing...

A blue? No, she was purple-blue. Maybe a garnet? As she spread her wings, even in the dim light, it became clear that she had veins of gold coloring her hide like lightning. A unique, then? The little creature--Lapis--crooned softly, an inquiry for food, and E'nyo was happy to oblige, feeding some tiny meat chunks to her. "Quite the lady, aren't we?" She said, chuckling. "How's Laceyl feel as a name? It seems regal and pretty, doesn't it?" Lace for short, maybe, despite the flit's lack of lace-like markings. She was still lovely, and maybe 'Lightning' or 'Stone' would fit better, but E'nyo doubted the little one would like such a name.

Laceyl crooned again, a sound of approval, and Nohadoth looked down at her curiously. E'nyo waited for his response with bated breath, hoping he liked her, hoping she would help. His eyes--usually a grayish yellow, as of late--took on a green hue for a moment.

I like her.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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Taking flight in the moonlight
Viiox of Green Crimioth - Semaca Weyr, Early Spring 2771

After feeding the little dragonet, Viiox had carried Crimioth to their new quarters. The dragonet had been quite tired--hatching was such hard work, it seemed! And not just for Crimioth. The emotional roller coaster had left Viiox exhausted, not to mention, she'd been up all night. They fell asleep together, Crimioth curled up in her rider's arms.

Viiox felt more comfortable and happy than she'd felt in a while. Despite her cheerful exterior, despite her optimism for others, her self-esteem suffered. She doubted her place in the world, and she doubted her ability to Impress. It was so much easier to just avoid thinking about those things, despite having her moments of broodiness. But tonight, she was truly happy, and in the morning, when she opened her eyes, she wondered if Crimioth had been a dream. Sitting up suddenly, in a panic--for what would she do if Crimioth weren't there--Viiox jostled the little green awake. Her groggy brain processed that Crimioth was not gone. Not a dream. She was real. The woman smiled down at Crimioth, trying to still her pounding heart from the momentary fear. "Sorry 'bout that, Crimioth. Didn't mean to wake you!" Her tired brain wondered if Crimioth would leave her, if the green had been able to survive on her own...she felt Crimioth's mind melded with hers, but...could she really trust someone? Even Crimioth? Fear of abandonment, no matter how irrational, flooded her, but she kept grinning, trying to hide it.

Viiox. I am here. And you do not have to worry about me leaving. I would never hurt you, never abandon you. I promise. Crimioth saw right through Viiox's facade, of course, and nuzzled her rider protectively. You don't have to hide yourself from me. You can trust me. I am yours, and you are mine, and together, we will take on the world. Crimioth couldn't promise everything would be okay, but she could promise that they'd face any issues together, as partners, as equals, as dragon and rider.

Viiox felt, in her heart, the truth of Crimioth's words. Some dragons and riders did not get along...but Crimioth. Crimioth loved her. And would be on her side. Viiox felt, in that instant, her walls and barriers melting, her heart opening completely to Crimioth. It was uncomfortable, it was strange, especially as the woman wasn't even entirely open with herself, but...where did she end and where did Crimioth begin? It was a terrifying experience, in a way, their hearts beating as one. Their lives entwined. To know that someone knew her was terrifying...but it was exciting. Pleasant, even, in a way...even if Viiox had to stop herself from recoiling.

It didn't change much, as Crimioth had already known Viiox, but Viiox no longer maintained the protective walls she hadn't realized she'd held up. "This is...kind of weird," she commented, with a nervous laugh. "I...just realized you know everything about me. You, you know about my insecurities. My acts. I...don't know how I feel about it. But...it's you. So, it's okay."

She wrapped her arms around her dragon, willing to sit with the uncomfortable but somehow welcome feeling of truly, truly being known. Of leaving herself vulnerable. Of trusting someone not to hurt her. How long had it been since she'd trusted? How long had it been since she'd truly known someone wouldn't harm her, put her faith in someone?

Too long, mine...but I'm here now. And I'll protect you.

"Only if I get to protect you too!" Viiox said, voice cracking, before laughing. She realized she was crying. When had that happen? Crimioth would not heal her hurts, would not make everything better, but the green was certainly a start. Viiox felt whole.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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    Mon Oct 19, 2020 5:55 am
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You Are BABY!
N'vir of Green Plemeth - High Reaches Weyr, Spring 2771

As N'vir sat on her bed, a pot with warm sand in front of her, she was practically bouncing in excitement. Inside the sand, buried oh-so-carefully, so meticulously, so perfectly...was a little firelizard egg. What do you think they'll be? Color, sure, but...who will they be? This could change our lives, you know. Curious, the way they make you wait, isn't it?

Plemeth peered at the little egg, curious, and just as excited as her rider. "Someone lovely! An absolute baby," she replied. Not her most intelligent or scientific statement, but it was true, wasn't it. "I...only wish they didn't make us wait like this...ah...you don't think I was sold a dud, do you?" Concern touched her voice. She'd bought an egg 'close to hatching' but it had been several hours and there was no movement from the egg.

I suppose that's possible, but it looks alive to me. I think it's about patience... Plemeth wanted to know, though, just as much as N'vir did! And then, as if 'patience' were the magic word, the egg gave a twitch. Just one. As N'vir and Plemeth watched with bated breath, excitement pulsing through them, the egg grew still again. At least they knew it was alive...

After maybe five minutes of silence, no one moving (egg included), with no warning, the little egg split in half. A ruddy brown, or a muddy garnet, emerged.

Image

As the little creature crooned piteously, looking to N'vir and Impressing when she saw the bowl of meat in the woman's hands, N'vir knew that this was a garnet. A little lady. The garnet nosed her way over to the food, moving awkwardly, and began eating the tiny chunks of fresh, raw meat. "Do you need any help, Miss?"

The flit, of course, didn't answer, but paused to chirp at N'vir, before returning to her independent eating. Ah..."You're a baby..." N'vir said, watching in awe as the clumsy hatchling devoured her food. "Er. Miss." Politeness when meeting such a cute lady would be necessary!
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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    Mon Oct 19, 2020 6:19 am
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Golden Greed
Sigil of Green Euraroth - High Reaches Weyr, Spring 2771


Big egg. Maybe gold? Sigil had parted with a few precious marks to get the largest firelizard egg he could find. A gold would be precious, a firelizard to lay some eggs that he'd be able to sell.

A man who is lured in by anything with a shiny hide. Motivated by your hoarding greed. Euraroth was not accusing, stating a fact. Sigil, however, scowled at her, cradling the basket that held the egg.

"Don't be rude. It's...not like that. Just a good business decision."

So it's about greed, regardless of whether it's greed for 'shiny accessory gold/bronze' or selling eggs. Sigil stuck out his tongue at her. She remained quiet, but did send an image of a green firelizard. Followed by a blue. A white. A garnet. A brown. Egg size didn't mean much for firelizards, after all.

Don't, you're going to give me bad luck. As the egg began to shake, however, bits of shell cracking off, Sigil peered excitedly at the little egg. He grabbed the meatrolls he'd procured, ready to feed the firelizard with his favorite food.

Image

A gold! Lucky! "Shiny..." Sigil whispered, in awe of the pretty lady, despite her somewhat-ugly build. In response, she squawked at him, followed by a little honk. Feed her! Now! She was hungry! Hungry Shiny!

"No, that's not your name...don't think that I named you--" she interrupted him with an image of a stack of gold, followed by her own shiny hide. No, she apparently wouldn't hear it. With a sigh, he began to feed the demanding gold.

Get more than you bargained for? Euraroth asked, curious.

"Shut up," he grumbled.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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    Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:57 am
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Stages of Grief, Part I: Denial
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, Fall 2770

TW: Ableism and being awful about Scryth, verbal abuse, guilt, and lots of other things.

No, no, no. This couldn't be.

Once again, they'd greeted the new day, hoping that Scryth had just been a dream. Hoping, desperately, that they still had a shot towards being something, towards riding gold or bronze. As they looked at Scryth's sleeping form, they scowled. No, this couldn't be happening. This couldn't happen! Not to them...

They were NOVA! They were meant for greatness. Not for...Scryth. The flightless, weak white, who could never be ANYTHING. A white--not a gold, not a bronze. And one who would never fly thread or do anything even remotely useful. Someone who would sap resources without contributing.

No, it couldn't be. This must be a dream. A realistic dream. Bitterly, as they sneered at the sleeping dragon, they gave their arm a pinch. No, they felt it...they were trapped in this dream. Trapped in this horrible nightmare. They looked away from Scryth. They couldn't ignore their dragon forever, but they could keep going about each day as if it didn't matter that they'd Impressed this thing.

Scryth stirred, woken by the vehemence in Nova's mind, but the new weyrling didn't care. Scryth would leave, eventually. Somehow. Without leaving them dragonless. They knew it didn't make sense, and the emotional thought, irrational and illogical, displeased them. They were better than this, but they could not just accept Scryth's existence...

The healers had said that Scryth would never fly. Not at all. The healers had said that they would be weak and easily tired for the rest of their life. That couldn't be. It couldn't. Scryth would fly, and the only thing wrong with them would be their color. If nothing else, Nova would rise to fly thread...even if on such a small and useless color of dragon.

Right?
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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Stages of Grief, Part II: Anger
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, Fall 2770

TW: Ableism and being awful about Scryth, verbal abuse, guilt, and lots of other things.

It had been two weeks since their Impression, and this horrible creature was still here. There was only so long that Nova could hope and pray that it was a mistake, that Scryth would realize that they were not, in fact, bonded to Nova. They were bonded to Nova, and it was unfair. "You ruined my entire life, piteous creature. I hope you are happy," Nova remarked dryly, sitting on their bed. They scowled at Scryth.

I'm sorry...

"You are nothing. Why did you need to choose me? Couldn't you have ruined Toki's life, and left Aldoeith to Impress to me? Shards, I would have settled for switching with Adeline. At least her dragon is a green, and at least the wretched beast can fly."

I know...but I couldn't choose anyone else. I know I'm not the best dragon, but...I couldn't pick anyone else. Scryth loved Nova. They were the best option, the only option for them, but...Nova didn't seem to feel the same way, and it broke Scryth's heart. They could only hope that someday...

"I could never love the wretch who ruined my life." Nova glared at the poor white, who wilted under their gaze. Nova paused for a moment, before uttering a single disdainful word and looking away. "Weak."

Would you have me leave...?

"What, and make me dragonless? No, I do not think so. That is a worse fate, somehow, than what I have gotten. Do not dare to be so selfish." Nova didn't seem to realize they were the one being selfish, or if they did, they didn't care. Scryth lowered their head, closing their eyes. They weren't strong. They knew it. But maybe, someday...maybe. If Nova encouraged the spark of hope, if Nova encouraged them to be confident, who knows who they would have been.

But Nova didn't. All Scryth felt from the bond was vehement hatred. It wasn't new, per se, but it was stronger and more defined. Crystallizing into something powerful...
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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Stages of Grief, Part III: Bargaining
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, Early Winter 2770

TW: Ableism and being awful about Scryth, emotional abuse, guilt

Well, there was no denying Scryth's existence, but maybe...it didn't need to be such an awful situation. Nova found themselves wishing each day that Scryth might show signs of health. Maybe they would be a late bloomer. Maybe the healers would be able to fix their wings. Maybe their wings would shock everyone and develop properly, even if out of the shell.

Nova didn't have much hope of these things, but they thought, they would take a white over a flightless white. Anything that got the pair being useful. They could accept a white, no matter how begrudgingly...but why did Scryth need to be flightless? Why did they need to be weak, unable to exert themselves? If Scryth could just become more useful, they would be nice to Scryth. As they looked upon the white, who was growing poorly and still the tiny creature they'd hatched as, they didn't bother hiding these thoughts. In fact, they directed them at Scryth.

If you could just become stronger and fly...I would be kinder to you. I would tolerate your presence. They weren't going to beg, but Scryth needed to do this for them, if they even cared about Nova.

If I could, I would... Scryth assured them, sadly. Nova, I am doing all I can--

Nova crushed any attempt at Scryth asserting themselves, snapping aloud, "Well try harder, because clearly you are not doing all you can." The white lowered their head, a soft sigh coming from them. Nova decided to ignore them.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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Stages of Grief, Part IV: Anger...again
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, Late Winter 2770

TW: Ableism and being awful about Scryth, guilt

This time, it wasn't Scryth's fault. That was an improvement. They didn't seem to hate their dragon in the same way. They even seemed protective of them, in a way--refusing to allow anyone but themselves to disparage the white. Miraelle had tried, and perhaps others had tried as well. But Nova wouldn't allow it. After all...despite Scryth's worthlessness and Nova's (apparent) lack of love for them...it wasn't their fault.

High Reaches had robbed them of their bronze, had robbed Scryth of their birthright, had caused Scryth to be the weak creature they were. If they hadn't been so careless in bringing the eggs, Scryth's egg wouldn't have cracked. They would have developed properly--into a bronze, into a creature who could fly.

Naturally, Nova could hardly lash out at the weyr itself, especially as High Reaches hadn't cast out the pair. It had wronged them, but it also fed and clothed them. Still, a rage boiled within Nova, cool and hateful. They wondered which rider was responsible...

How could they do this? Nova and Scryth had been robbed. The weyrling felt a new sympathy for Scryth, and even a kinship. It was them and Scryth against the weyr, against the world, the harsh and unforgiving world with the audacity to make them both who they were. Scryth had done nothing wrong. Their emotional weakness, even, was clearly a result of the horrible feelings they had at the circumstances of their hatching. (And not because of Nova and their quest for approval, of course!)

Scryth...would take it. They knew that Nova had to come to terms with it, and the new degree of affection and alliance was welcome. Nova had to cope however they needed to, and secretly, the dragon found it to be a promising turn of events. Hopefully...hopefully Nova would eventually accept them. Would love them like Scryth loved Nova. Maybe...maybe Scryth could find something they would be good at. Advising, maybe, even if not leading...even if not flying.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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    Sat Dec 05, 2020 1:50 pm
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Stages of Grief, Part V: Depression...and Acceptance?
Nova of White Scryth - High Reaches Weyr, Spring 2771

TW: Ableism and being awful about Scryth, depression

Why had this happened to them? While the other weyrlings were doing search and rescue, learning to between, being useful, and so on, Nova and Scryth were stuck doing less tasking lessons that wouldn't drain the energy of the weak white. There was no denying the elephant in the room. Scryth and Nova were different, less capable...useless.

Nova didn't like to feel so down. It was a disgusting feeling. They hated it. Where was their logic, their rationale, their sharp intellect? It was clouded behind the malaise and sadness that clung to their very soul. Sighing, they leaned against Scryth, looking up at the stars in the sky.

Our future is not so dull as you think it will be, Scryth said, reassuringly. Their relationship had gotten better. Some days, Nova still resented Scryth. Most days, in fact. But sometimes, the two almost took comfort in the other's presence. They were both broken. They were both weak. Even if Nova only considered themselves broken due to their bond, they were both unable to live to their potential.

And Scryth was smart, too. They had a potential that Nova hadn't seen at first. Not as good as a capable dragon, and certainly no Aldoeith--or bronze--but...something. Someone who could keep up with Nova. At least Scryth wasn't an idiot, even if they were weak. Still...despite starting to accept Scryth's presence, despite occasionally finding solace with Scryth, they still hurt. Every time someone looked at them, Nova wondered what was going on through their mind. Paranoid, maybe, but no one could be trusted, even more so since they'd Impressed Scryth.

Anyone would try to find any reason to throw the useless pair out. No matter how smart Scryth was, they didn't have any worth as a threadfighting dragon. Neither did their mentor's dragon, of course, but there was a difference between fighting thread and becoming injured due to it...and hatching wrong.

It's unfair, what the world has done to us. An impersonal and unfeeling world, cold and harsh, has cast us out as nothings.

But...we can prove our worth. Maybe not in the way that most expect. I know I am...a limiting factor, but we can do the best with what we have...

Nova glanced over to them. Their dragon was still so small, barely large enough for Nova to comfortably sit and lean against. They would never be able to ride Scryth, not even on the ground--the dragon was small, sickly, and weak, while Nova was quite large. Maybe you are correct. The others...perhaps it is they who should be below us... They paused, rubbing their chin. In their sadness, they'd let a bit of stubble grow on their face. They'd let themselves go, wearing simple, lazy clothing on this evening.

But maybe it was time to show everyone that Nova was not going to accept fate for what it was. They would not take it lying down. They would still be someone, even if they had to work for it. Scryth was right. It didn't need to be Nova against Scryth--it was Nova and Scryth, against the world. Scryth, for their part, was willing to take it, as it was better than nothing. They swelled with pride at their rider's thoughts. For it was no longer "Failure of White Disappointmenth."

It was Nova of White Scryth, and perhaps they could find a sense of pride in that.
Thread Tracker - Soliloquies
Fort Weyr
D'javi of Bronze Cerasth
Jexin of Brown Hayutoth
Maze of Garnet Temporaeth
Thane of Blue Vesseth
Nes of Blue Gascoigth
Sy'rei of Green Asrakaerth
K'me of Green Wadjeth
Neme of Green Maglyth
V'eil of Green Usamith
Miilo of Blue Miilsk
Arkta of Green Arktask & Blue Arsk
Candidate Sere
High Reaches Weyr
Safvris of Brown Osjeith
Lace of Garnet Rozeth
K'rou of Blue Nonaryth
Keiraly of Blue Sarmith
Ny'ri of Moonstone Asberyth
Sparrow of Green Irabeth
Nova of White Scryth
Nhelin of Gold Nhelisk & Brown Nhesk
Zyri of Blue Zyrisk
Candidate Ryuki
Candidate Pyeri
Semaca Weyr
Deir of Bronze Rollieth
Kas of Garnet Vaheoth
Nysie of Blue Ixith
Kaneki of Blue Tinoceth
J'pei of Green Zelagoth
Hymn of Green Gienath
E'nyo of White Nohadoth
Vixen of Seafoam Xesk
Makai of Blue Kask & Brown Makaisk
Aket of Green-Blue Akhersk
Wyll of Green Wysk
WIP: Candidate Verlian
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