"The need to change... And the desire to remain the same... They're mixed together... And it scares me."
BASICS
RETIRE INFO: Dragon - Adopt / Character - Retire
NAME: Nao'to
GENDER: Transgender Male
PRONOUNS: He/Him/His
ORIENTATION: Pansexual
BIRTHDATE: Fall of 2752
AGE: 24 as of Early Spring 2774
LOCATION: High Reaches
OCCUPATION: Blue Rider
WING: Starfall
APPEARANCE
EYES: Slate Gray
HAIR: Raven Black
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 5'0";Slender
PLAY-BY: Naoto Shirogane (Persona 4)
FULL APPEARANCE:
Naoto is slender, almost.. feminine in this manner. He tries to work out to bulk up more but the moment he gains weight, it just seems to fall right off. He has short blue black hair that he keeps cut short and sometimes hidden under a hat or a scarf, whatever might be available at the time. Long lashes frame almond shaped slate gray eyes that carry a piercing stare as if he can see right though you.
He is on the shorter side for a boy but do not let his height and smaller stature fool you, he is very light on his feet and quick on the draw. His default expression is almost an emotionless mask, the expression of a man who is consistently deducing the world around him. He rarely smiles but when he does, it seems to light up his entire face.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY:
TW: Gender Dysphoria ; Depression
Naoto on the outside seems a very quiet and intelligent young man who weighs his words heavily before he says them. He is not very social and almost seems shy or snobbish to those that do not know him or make an effort to do so. His inner turmoil with his gender identity causes him to be jittery or very anxious when he thinks someone sees through his attempt at transitioning.
He prefers to not be in the spotlight, to fade into the background and play his part behind the scenes. This can cause conflict with his desire to be a dragonrider but he does not think so and hopes to impress a dragon that is similar in nature to himself.. as to avoid the stress and trouble of being made a spectacle of.
On the very rare occasion someone might actually get close to him, he can display traits of warmth and the rare smile and offer something of himself that he keeps hidden from others. But this is so blindingly rare that he considers it not even a thing. At this point in his life, he only trusts books, scrolls and his instructors.. other candidates.... not so much, he would rather hide away.
He suffers constant fits of anxiety and depression brought about by both his issues with his biologically female parts and the death of his grandfather and does everything in his power to hide this from others, not wanting anyone to see the cracks in his mental armor.
With time and , Naoto has really started to come out of his shell and blossom more. He finds social interactions a bit easier and has expressed an interest in teaching others as a result, wanting to help shape the future of High Reaches and her riders.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Raioto - Grandfather ; Bronze rider (deceased)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: (Maybe?)
BIRTHPLACE: High Reaches
HISTORY:
TW: Gender Dysphoria; Depression
Naoto was born to two rider parents whom died when he was still an infant so he has no memory of them. He was raised in part by his grandfather and partly on his own. A smart child from a very young age, he caught onto things and learned very quickly, savoring the feeling of gaining knowledge. This tended to make him a wee bit of a recluse when it came to socializing with other children.
This issue only became more pronounced as he aged and began to feel as if his own body was a prison he was born to, that these newly growing female parts didn't belong, that he didn't belong. He began to bind his breasts down as they caused him massive anxiety and panicked at the idea of ever showering or bathing around anyone else, that they might see them.
As he began to realize that he never wanted to be a woman... he felt and acted more male, in his mannerisms, his attractions, his thoughts.. the idea of being a male began to give him a peace he never knew. So he decided at 15 that he was one, going to become a dragon candidate and two.. was going to live life as the gender he believed he was supposed to be. Thus he changed his name, cut his hair short, wore a binder constantly and referred to himself as he.
His grandfather was a major influence in his life and having been the only child of his bloodline, he was doted on and taught what it would take to become a leader in his own right someday. While he did have the aptitude and a part of him held the desire, at the same time, he never much liked the spotlight but did as he felt was expected of him, always wanting his grandfather's approval. But then came the terrible day... the day his lost his one family member and the most influential person in his young life. He had been killed during Golre's offensive at Fort.
His grandfather's death impacted him deeply as it left him alone in the world and without an ally. His peers began to eye him with suspension, especially after what Golre had done and this caused him further desire to turtle up and hide from the world. He began to have darker thoughts for a while though it was his studies and desire to make something of himself that kept him from acting on it... if for no other reason, than to do his grandfather proud. Then the day came, where he impressed.
Nao'to was not expecting it at all and when a blue decided he was the one, he was dumbfounded at first. It took a few moments for it to sink in that he impressed to a blue and part of him felt a bit of regret, thinking of his grandfather and how he would have been disappointed it was not a bronze. But this was his dragon now and he would not abandon him. While it took a bit more time to become comfortable with his new reality, the pair bonded over mutual love of learning and the fact that Aersth didn't chase much made Nao'to more comfortable, as he still was very uncomfortable with anything flight lust related.
