"If you could rewrite our life any way that you please
Would you tear out the pages of our memories?
Would you take back the pain and all the hurt we create?
Or could you be satisfied with the promise you made?
So we rewrite our lives but it's not what we think
In the chaos we dance as we stand on the brink
Always one change away from making ourselves complete
The world will perish in flames
And I'll watch as you fade from me"
BASICS
RETIRE INFO: Retire
NAME: Xander
GENDER: Male
PRONOUNS: He/Him/His
ORIENTATION: I don't think he even knows
BIRTHDATE: Early Spring 2737
AGE: 36 as of Early Spring 2773
LOCATION: High Reaches Weyr
OCCUPATION: Weyrfolk
WING: N/A
APPEARANCE
EYES: Amber
HAIR: Blonde
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 6'3", fit
PLAY-BY: Prince Xander of Nohr
FULL APPEARANCE:
A tall, handsome man, Xander is what most people think of when they hear 'Lord Holder' or maybe 'Weyrleader'. However, he is none of those. Yet. With fine features and hair that is both a crime against nature and somehow perfect, Xander seems to be a perfect person. He's broad-shouldered and strong, trained to be strict and proper and a fantastic fighter. He dresses in white shirts and darker colors, deep purples with black and gold, and always seems to look perfect no matter where he is. He carries himself as a strong, proud man, every part of his public persona carefully crafted and he takes great care in his appearance. He wears a circlet, something that looks like twisted brambles and thorns. It isn't really a crown, more symbolic more than anything, but he finds some odd comfort in wearing it.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY:
A paragon of nobility. A prince in all but title.
Xander appears to be the perfect human being. He is talented, diplomatic, and nobility incarnate. Every motion and every word is carefully picked. He is a man who could walk through miles of swamp and mud and somehow come out perfectly clean. Every part of him seems to be his best side, but there is a sharp ruthlessness to him that he reserves for when he needs to prove a point. Even that is carefully crafted, and never used without reason. He is hopelessly devoted to the Hold and his father, with his family coming under his protection as strongly as his love for them.
His bitterness at Ryoma's very existence is just as finely crafted. Though he respects the other man, the fact that he is alive and thriving irritates him. He can play nice when he has to, though he tries to keep his family away from the other and his siblings.
But Xander is a man with cracks that split him to the core.
He carries the burdens of the world without hesitation, without complaint. In doing so, he breaks a little more every day, and he cannot stop himself from falling. He is already spiralling and cannot stop himself. He doesn't even realize how fragile he actually is. Camilla is the only one who has seen him at his worst, when the need to be perfect has broken him and he's sitting on his bed staring at the floor and not able to understand why tears are rolling down his face. He will not allow anyone else to see him in such a way. Ever. He can't be weak. He can't afford to be weak. If he is weak, people get hurt.
And he will not allow that to happen ever again.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Garon of Bronze Garosk - Father
Camilla of Blue Kamuith - Younger sister
Leo - Younger brother
Elise - Younger sister
Corrin - Younger adopted sibling
Engenix - long lost sibling
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: ahahahahaahaha
BIRTHPLACE: struggling hold
HISTORY: TW: Child abuse
The firstborn of a man who demanded nothing but perfection, Xander was likely doomed from the start. As a child, he had once been happy. Carefree, even. All that existed to him was his father, his mother, and his wher who always seemed to be there to keep an eye on him. He was two when Camilla was born, and even from a young age, Xander decided that he was going to be the best sibling to her, that he was going to be everything she needed. His world was, for lack of better term, perfect. Leo came along not long after Camilla, and followed by Elise and Engenix
His mother died when he was ten, and Engenix was lost. There was a change in his father. The man grew cold, vicious, and cruel. Whether it was the war that had touched their borders or the death of his mother, Xander never knew. He changed. The boy who had smiled at the sunlight and had actually been happy slowly rotted away with every step he took. Every part of him became a shield, keeping his siblings from suffering from any fury that Garon raged. It manifested in bruises and scratches, in a few broken bones. But he never stopped. He never wanted his siblings to see this, to see the sort of person their father had become, truly.
Xander took on more. More duties. More training. Now he had to be the best, he had to be perfect. Even when he was learning how to navigate politics and the world outside of the struggling hold, he had to be perfection incarnate. He would be the one to suffer if it meant that his younger siblings would be safe. Would be okay.
Sacrifices had to be made, and Xander made them all. Even when it came to drawing the attention from his father's most trusted adviser away from Leo, he made sacrifices. He stepped in, as forcefully as he could muster, and was punished severely for it. It didn't matter to him, the bruises and black eye, it kept his family safe. He would suffer. For Leo. For Elise. For Corrin. He grew into a man who would sooner throw himself before Thread and flame than see his family harmed.
When Camilla was Searched, Xander was happy. Briefly. She would be away from this. Away from the hold and away from their father. And when Xander heard that she had impressed a blue, he was... perhaps a little jealous. That she would be able to be someone new. That she could be who she was supposed to be. He needed her to be free, and soon enough he was sending letters with his firelizards - gifts from Elise and Corrin - to High Reaches Weyr, almost pleading with them to send Searchriders. If he could get Leo and Elise, and Corrin, away from this all, he would. He needed them to be away from this.
Poised to take over the hold, Xander attempted, frequently, to expand relations. To travel and find connections so their hold stopped being on the brink of starvation and ruin. Unfortunately, that ran him across a rather proud family from Fort - Ryoma and his numerous siblings, all who claimed that Corrin was truly their sibling. A feud sparked instantly, and Xander found himself with yet another burden. Though he loved Corrin, deep down he decided that whatever his sibling chose, he would be fine with the decision. Even if he was not.
UPDATES
- 2766 - 2767: Somehow he is elected Weyrleader of High Reaches Weyr. Twice.
