"The worst thing I ever did was what I did to you. I was only 17. I don't know anything. But I know I miss you."
BASICS
NAME: Jace
GENDER: Male
PRONOUNS: He/him/his
ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
BIRTHDATE: Early Spring, 2754
AGE: 20 as of 2774
LOCATION: High Reaches Weyr
OCCUPATION: Weyrling
WING: N/A
APPEARANCE
EYES: Blue
HAIR: Brown and slightly shaggy
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 5'7, athletic
PLAY-BY: Warrior of Light (FFXIV)
FULL APPEARANCE: A bit on the shorter side, Jace has the athletic build of a man who's spent plenty of time on runner back. He wears his brown hair a bit long and does his best to keep it neat, but it typically falls out of place as the day goes on. His clothes are all well-made, not so formal they get in his way, but a bit more elaborate than those of most candidates. Jace stands and is not the sort to fidget, although he doesn't always look entirely comfortable in his own skin.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY: Jace is a man with a strong sense of duty and high expectations for himself. As a candidate and a lord holder's son, he must be a paragon of honor and skill and integrity, a worthy protector of Pern and an example others can strive to live up to. But he rarely lives up to this. Jace is very much fallible and far from a paragon of self-control. He is young and inexperienced and doesn't always know the right thing to do. Even when the right thing is obvious, often the wrong choice is simply easier or more tempting. And Jace is not good at resisting. In the impulse of the moment, what he wants seems more important than any lofty ideals. Jace carries around his share of guilt, for the big things and the small, and dwells on it often, regretting that he can never be the man he wishes he was. Jace is one of those people who is both deeply proud and fundamentally insecure. He considers himself someone important, but is never truly satisfied with himself.
Jace doesn't relate well to most people and doesn't make a lot of friends. He is charming enough, in a practiced way, and his manners are excellent, but he can never relax around strangers. He must always strive to look perfect, an ideal representative for his hold and weyr. He is not fond of crowds and isn't looking to form a lot of meaningful friendships. With a rare few exceptions, Jace doesn't particularly care about most people beyond a superficial level. He wants to be kind and decent and well-liked because that's the sort of person a candidate and a lord holder's son should be, but he doesn't particularly care if other people are happy or how they see the world. It rarely crosses his mind to even consider the question. He is rarely deliberate cruel, but he is often callous. His world view is ultimately a self-centered one, in which other people are not particularly important.
There are only a few people Jace genuinely cares about: His parents, his siblings, his Harper teacher and Bettina. Because he has very few people in his life he cares about and never developed the best coping mechanisms, Jace tends towards co-dependency, because doesn't have many people in his life and he's not good at being alone. Which isn't to say Jace always do the right things by the people he relies on and cares about. He doesn't. Because he is still impulsive and selfish and immature. But he regrets it. And he wishes he could he could be better for them too.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Father: Lord Jaceon
Mother: Lady Edel
Several younger siblings
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Formerly Betty and August
BIRTHPLACE: A minor hold beholden to High Reaches
HISTORY: Jace was born to responsibility. He was his parents' firstborn, their son and heir to a mildly prosperous, mid-sized major hold. They looked at him and saw the future leader of the hold. Their people needed him. His parents loved him and cared for him, but didn't coddle him and had high expectations. He wasn't an ordinary child, his father often reminded him. With privilege came duty. There was no room for him to falter.
Jace spent little time playing with other children his age. As his mother frequently reminded him, special friendships could lead to accusations of favoritism when he was the lord. Jace's siblings were at least four turns younger than him, too young for real conversations. Jace grew into a somber, lonely child. He spent his days studying. His father taught him how to run the hold and the local harper taught him the rest.
And then, one day, when Jace was ten, there was another child in his Harper lessons. A girl. Her name was Bettina and she was the harper's new apprentice. Like him, she needed more than just a basic education. Jace's father had agreed to allowing them to take some of their lessons together. Betty would grow to fill a special role in their hold. Jace wouldn't need to treat her like everyone else, because she wasn't like everyone else.
Jace and Betty quickly became friends and Bettina became one of the great constants of Jace's life. She was the one person he could really talk to, honestly and openly, someone he didn't need to play heir of the hold for. As they grew, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to fall in love with her. She was beautiful and smart and educated and his best friend. Someday, Jace would need a wife. Betty would make a wonderful Lady Holder. When they were sixteen, Jace confessed his feelings, fully expecting he would marry her some day.
When Jace turned 17, his parents decided it was time for him to start building connections with neighboring holds and to gain experience of the world beyond their hold. They arranged for him to stay with a neighboring holder for two turns. Jace didn't want to go, but it was duty, so he swallowed his complaints, said goodbye to Bettina and promised her he would return.
Jace went and did his best to be a good ambassador for his hold, the perfect heir. No matter how people were around, he always felt alone. He was lonely. And then, August was there.
He met her at an early summer gather. She wasn't Bettina and he didn't love her, but he liked her. They talked. They danced. He started to feel comfortable, for the first time since he'd left home. It was a mistake. He knew it was a mistake. But he was weak and he was selfish and he did it anyway. He held her hand and he kissed her and he let himself fall just a little bit in love with her, because it was better than being alone.
It lasted until autumn came. Someone from their hold, Inez, found out. Jace didn't know how. It didn't matter. Bettina knew. His parents knew. When Jace received a letter with the news, he knew what he to do. He apologized to his hosts and to August and he rode for home.
It was too late. He wanted Bettina back. She didn't want him. He couldn't blame her. He wasn't worthy to be her husband or his hold's heir. At the next Gather, Jace saw her dancing with someone else. He offered to step down the next day, suddenly eager to be somewhere, anywhere else. His parents refused, not understanding why he thought it necessary. But his honor was compromised and he couldn't focus on his duties, only the image of Betty dancing with him. He could never deserve a lord holder's knots.
When the riders came on Search and saw something in him, it seemed like a way out, a chance to give himself and Bettina and his hold a fresh start. But then Bettina was Searched too. Jace had already agreed. It was too late to back out.
They both went to the weyr. And even though he could never deserve it, Jace continued to hope someday Bettina would forgive him.
