Though I understand a wounded heart
Why do I end up hurting and leaving the same scars?
Labeling it as ego, grouping it all together
The true essence of you and me, burning transparently
-Akari, Soushi Sakiyama
BASICS
NAME: Suguru
GENDER: Male
PRONOUNS: He/Him/His
ORIENTATION: Gay and Taken!
BIRTHDATE: Early Spring 2758
AGE: 19 as of Summer 2777
LOCATION: Semaca Weyr
OCCUPATION: Candidate
WING: N/A
APPEARANCE
EYES: Gray
HAIR: Black
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 6’3, Well built and athletic
PLAY-BY: Suguru Geto (JJK)
EXPY SOURCE: Jujutsu Kaisen
FULL APPEARANCE:
Suguru is a tall, well built man with wide shoulders and a small waist. While he has some bulk, he isn’t so built that his flexibility or speed suffer. He’s very well rounded, muscle mass wise, with strong arms and legs and a solid core. Suguru has long, black hair that falls past his shoulders, most commonly worn in a half-up, half-down bun. One lock of hair falls into his face as it’s too short to securely stay tied back, and Suguru gave up trying to keep it in his bun after repeatedly failing to do so.His hair is well maintained and silky, which he takes great pride in. Suguru’s eyes are gray, with a hint of dark circles underneath he can’t seem to get rid of, along with angular eyebrows and a strong jawline. He has large, circular earrings and prefers comfortable, loose fitting clothing as opposed to anything that clings to him. He has a kind (albeit often fake) smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY:
Suguru, to most, is a polite, well spoken man. He doesn’t often seek out interaction with others, but won’t shy away from it either. Given the right company, though, he has no qualms throwing aside his polite persona for his own amusement. His snide or teasing remarks can cross the line into genuinely hurtful territory, though he isn’t often vindictive enough to actually mean it and will apologize should he genuinely hurt the feelings of someone he respects. For all his kindness, his temper has a surprisingly short fuse, and his anger is icy and biting. He won’t scream or make a scene, but he’ll certainly make his displeasure known. He is a firm believer of respect being earned, and he will often treat those he doesn’t respect flippantly and disregard them entirely, should he genuinely dislike or hate them.
Privately, Suguru struggles with finding meaning in what he does sometimes. He has a bad habit of bottling up his problems and letting them fester until they become too big to hide, and asking for help isn’t something that comes easy to him. He tends to try and push others away and isolate himself, and often needs a stubborn, well meaning hand to pull him out of his own head and convince him to talk to someone.
HISTORY
FAMILY:
Sumiya (Mother)
Runri (Father)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Satoru
BIRTHPLACE: A minor hold beholden to Igen Weyr
HISTORY:
TW: Mentall Illness, Mild Homophobia
Suguru was born to a well off couple in a decently sized minor hold. The families were well knit, and Suguru learned a good portion of them by name as he grew up. Suguru’s father was stern and quiet, while his mother was doting and often worried herself in circles over little things. They both had high expectations for their son, and Suguru was told as much as he grew up. His family taught him rigid manners from a young age, and he was known to be a very polite young boy around the time he was seven or eight turns. He was encouraged to be helpful, though he could only do so much as a child. He was proud to be helping folks, especially as he aged into his preteen years. He was making a name for himself, and, more importantly in his mind, his family.
Early on during his 15th turn, a dragonrider happened upon his hold. It wasn’t the first time he had seen one, but this time would be different. He had never held any high aspirations in his mind that one day, he may be searched, but to his surprise, the dragon saw something in him. His parents were elated, and it was one of the handfuls of times Suguru could recall his father looking outwardly prideful of him. His mother, proud as she was, was saddened by the idea of him leaving her. She made him promise to keep in touch regularly before sending him on his way.
Igen wasn’t terribly far from where he grew up, and the close proximity to home was comforting at first. The sheer size of a weyr was intimidating, and Suguru found it a bit difficult to come out of his shell. He greeted every new person with the same politeness he would anyone, but found himself burning out of social interaction fairly quickly as he adjusted. That is, at least, until he met Satoru.
Satoru was outgoing enough for the both of them. It was off putting, in the beginning. It probably didn’t help that Satoru introduced himself as if he were some celebrity that Suguru was just supposed to know. They clashed for weeks after their first meeting, and ended up being scolded more than once for getting into brief physical altercations with one another. Though, as time passed, he came to understand that Satoru was a deeply insecure individual underneath all the complicated, arrogant layers. Satoru’s upbringing was somewhat reminiscent of his own, and they ended up bonding over it. By the time Suguru turned 16, he and Satoru were practically inseparable.
They were often terrible influences on one another, though Suguru would always claim Satoru had a heavier hand in things. He had certainly had his fair share of being burned by being too kind, and as the experiences piled up, he became somewhat jaded. His new attitude didn’t simply cease to be when he visited home, either. His father made some disparaging comment about his relationship with Satoru, describing their closeness as strange and unnatural, and he had snapped back with something he couldn’t quite remember. Neither one of his parents reacted well to learning that he wasn’t the same, endlessly polite Suguru they had sent off to Igen. They pressed him on what had possessed him to treat them that way, what kinds of horrible things he was being taught. It was an overreaction on his parents’ part, but it didn’t glance off of him like most people’s opinions did.
After returning to Igen, his mental health began declining steadily. He didn’t confide in anyone how his parents’ words had dug under his skin and clung to the back of his mind no matter what he tried. The longer he thought about it, the more convinced he was that there was something wrong with him. He didn’t realize it had gotten so terrible until he physically couldn’t hide it any longer, when people started asking if he had slept, if he was feeling alright, if he was sick. He told Satoru first, when his own thoughts became too much, and sought out the aid of a mindhealer with a little encouragement. And, while it did help insurmountably, suddenly the close proximity to home felt like a shackle.
His mother’s frequent, needling letters to come visit again, to talk to them, to maintain the facade of the polite young man he no longer was, were the final nail in the coffin. Satoru must have noticed that, while things were getting better, Suguru had frequent backslides when the letters came in. He shocked Suguru with the suggestion of transferring weyrs, all the way to Semaca. It was a huge leap, but Suguru knew he couldn’t afford to stagnate in improving his mental health if he wanted to remain a candidate. And, with Satoru at his side, he felt more confident he could tackle such a life changing decision. So, around the middle of his 18th turn, he and Satoru departed for the southern continent.
It took some adjusting to, just like it had taken time to settle in to Igen, but he felt… lighter. The massive distance separating him and his family now gave him excuses not to visit, provided a buffer between letters. He noticed his mother’s tone in them change from demanding to somewhat remorseful, like she understood she had contributed to his decision. The needling to visit them decreased significantly, replaced simply with ‘We miss you’s and inquiries to how life was on the southern continent. While he still had bad days, he was all in all in a better place mentally, and felt he could continue to improve now that he didn’t feel the shadow of his parents’ opinion hovering over him anymore.
