"Live a life worth living. That's all I want for you."
BASICS
RETIRE INFO: Adopt
NAME: Naxen
GENDER: Female
PRONOUNS: She/her/hers
ORIENTATION: Pansexual
BIRTHDATE: Early Summer 2732
AGE: 35 as of Fall 2767
LOCATION: Semaca Weyr
OCCUPATION: Candidate Master, Wingrider
WING: Minuet
APPEARANCE
EYES: Dark
HAIR: Black, short and curly
HEIGHT AND BUILD: 6'2, lean and a bit delicate
PLAY-BY: Janelle Monáe
FULL APPEARANCE: Tall, lean and absolutely stunning, Naxen draws eyes. Her walk is graceful and confident, with a huge helping of sugar in ever smile. While she's neither the fastest nor the strongest rider in the weyr by any means, her turns of riding have left her athletic and capable. Her skin is a rich brown, typically darkened even further by the summer sun. She keeps herself clean and her black hair well trimmed and glossy, but tends to avoid makeup.
Naxen spends her free time in short dresses and skirts that are well-sewn and flattering, made with simple fibers and inexpensive, generally earth-toned dyes. She likes feeling pretty, but not enough to buy something she can't afford to replace. Her approach to riding clothes is similar. Practical, but flattering, without any of the fancy dyes or garnishes some riders enjoy. Plain brown leather in a nice cut is good enough for her, thank you very much.
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY:
Naxen is, in a word, good. She's sweet, she's kind, she's generous. And she loves the family she has left with everything she has. She'd fly to the red star and back for them, no questions asked. Sometimes even if they don't ask. Naxen wants to accept, comfort and coddle just about everyone on Pern, with one exception. She has no tolerance for bullies. She won't hit back per say, but she'll lecture and eventually, she may give up and cut them out of her life entirely, as she did her parents.
Naxen is also, in a word, a worrier. She's protective in her own soft-spoken way of those she holds closest and is hesitant to let them take risks. As a mother, she's inclined to give her children far too little freedom, as a sister or a friend, she can be quite a bit of a meddler and as a teacher...well, she doesn't always know when to leave well enough alone. She just wants everyone to be safe and okay and happy, alright? Is that really so bad?
Within her wing, Naxen is diligent and hardworking, but does sometimes drift out of formation when she thinks someone else is in trouble, even if it puts the rest of the wing at risk. She's not always the best at seeing the bigger picture, as she is so wrapped up in the individuals surrounding her that it can be easy to forget the needs of Pern.
HISTORY
FAMILY: Has no contact with either parent
Sister: Xe'e, dragonless, healer
Children: Petraxen (NB, 12), Naxavyn (F, 10), Xena (F, 7)
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Petravyn, Deceased
BIRTHPLACE: Just outside Fort Hold
HISTORY:
TW: Suicide, death, transphobia
Naxen was born to a Harper mother and a Tailor father who made their home just outside of Fort Hold. She was their eldest child but three turns later was followed by another, her parents' first and only 'son' Xenalee. From the start, Naxen was a happy, easy child, while Xenalee chafed at their parents' expectations. When Xenalee took to stealing clothes from Naxen's closet, Naxen said nothing. At first she thought it the innocent play of a child, then when it persisted understood it was what Xenalee needed to be happy. So when her parents asked what happened to that new dress they'd bought? She lied. Because she adored Xenalee with all her heart. In time, she learned what her sibling liked and started buying things in Xenalee's size and style, leaving them where she knew they would be found.
It wasn't until Xenalee was fourteen she confessed the truth Naxen had suspected and accepted long ago: Naxen's 'brother' was and always had been a sister, who preferred the name of Xena. Naxen didn't care if Xena was a boy or a girl or anything in between. She was her sister and she was perfect just the way she was. She supported her and comforted her and when it was time to tell their parents, stood right besides her. And when their parents refused to see that there was nothing wrong with Xena? Naxen left besides Xena without a second thought. They were sisters. And sisters put each other first.
The pair went to Fort Hold, with the intention of making their way to the weyr as soon as possible. Everyone claimed the weyr was more liberal and accepting, after all, so it seemed the most logical refuge. Naxen never resented her sister for making them leave but did blame her parents. When they tried to reach out to her, their 'normal' daughter, she turned them away, telling them they could have both their daughters or neither of them. As Naxen had begun apprenticing to her mother before they ran, she used the limited training she had to make a few marks where she could, mostly by crafting and selling inexpensive instrument. She also took whatever odd jobs the hold had to offer, but accepted no permanent position, always keeping an eye on the sky for dragons.
Fortunately, they didn't have long to wait. Less than a turn later, the pair was walking into the Sands in candidate whites. Naxen resumed her Harper training and only a turn later, cheered louder than anyone else in the weyr when she watched her sister Impress, a perfect brown by the name of Leith. For the first time since they left home, the sisters were separated for much of the day by separate lessons and chores. And while Naxen was delighted for Xe'e, who deserved nothing but the best, it was a bit lonely, being a candidate alone.
Enter Petravyn. A young candidate recently searched from near Ruatha, he was shy and awkward and...absolutely adorable. Naxen befriended him quickly, as he began training as a Harper as well, and romance followed soon after. And then Naxen Impressed too, to a gorgeous, serious blue named Anitoth. Petravyn promised to wait for her as Xe'e celebrates besides her, the pair jokingly dubbing themselves the chromo sisters.
Naxen's weyrlinghood was largely uneventful, but soon after she graduated, tragedy struck. Thread struck Xe'e and Leith and while Naxen's sister survived, the brown went between forever. For several sevendays, her sister remained in the infirmary, covered in bandages and barely responsive. Naxen stayed besides her as much as she could, with a dragon of her own to care of. It was during this time that Petravyn quit candidacy. He found he preferred singing to dragons and someone needed to keep things from falling to pieces if Xe'e didn't survive.
Xe'e did make it, but she wasn't the same girl Naxen had always known. It was as if Leith had taken a piece of her with him when he vanished for the last time. Naxen tried to support Xe'e all she could, but it wasn't enough. Within a turn, when Naxen was pregnant with her first child, Xe'e tried to kill herself. Naxen caught her in the act and stopped her, but suddenly there was new tension between them. Naxen couldn't quite forgive her sister for trying to take her own life and felt helpless, unable to do anything but watch as Xe'e spiralled further and further into the abyss she had seen too many dragonriders fall to already.
So Naxen focused on what she could do. She lavished love on her weyrmate, her dragon and her new baby and tried never to let Xe'e see that she resented her on any level. Her sister had enough pain, without adding Naxen's bruised feelings into the mix. And then, two months later, Xe'e again sought death, for reasons Naxen would never understand. There was no one to stop her this time and she ended up in the infirmary. Naxen sat by her side from the moment she found out to the moment Xe'e opened her eyes. It was like those awful sevendays all over again, sitting there, clutching Xe'e's hands, watching her dance on the edge of life and death. And then she woke and Naxen couldn't hold the tears back any longer. They cried together, until Naxen could feel the last of her hurt and anger fading away.
Finally, Xe'e began to recover, slowly but surely. She would never again be the sister Naxen had grown up with, indelibly changed by her loss, but she was no longer the broken mess stumbling through life in a haze. And no matter what sort of person Xe'e became, Naxen would always love her. When she apprenticed as a mindhealer, Naxen knew the worst had passed. If her sister could want things again, she'd be alright.
Naxen had two more children in the turns that passed. Petraxen, her eldest, grew up strong, athletic and confident. Naxavyn, her second, was quieter, but so clever Naxen and Petravyn could barely keep up with her bright little mind. And her youngest? Naxen named her Xena, for all her sister protested, and she was beautiful and kind and brave. They were a happy family. Petravyn did most of the childcare, as his schedule was more forgiving than Naxen's, and the children lived with them, instead of being fostered as was the norm for the weyr.
Xe'e walked the tables in due time and it seemed for some turns that the worst had passed, that everything was looking up. And then, something happened she would never have expected. Petravyn went climbing with Petraxen, up into the Fireheights, without telling Naxen, who he knew would object. They were racing, hard, and Petravyn fell. It was a long drop and he hit his head when he landed. He never woke up again.
And that was when Naxen had had enough. Every inch of Fort was draped in memories of death and despair, for her children now as well as herself. She applied for a transfer, to Semaca Weyr, and an Assistant Weyrlingmaster post. Because she had failed to save her sister's dragon or her weyrmate, but she might yet manage to save someone else's sister, someone else's lover, someone else's child. And she invited her sister to go with her. Because if she could barely stand to look at the fireheights, how much worse must it be for Xe'e, who had lost the second half of her soul?
UPDATES
- 2766- Xe'e can't take living among dragons any more and leaves the weyr to live again among crafters and holders.
Early Fall, 2767- Naxen steps down as Assistant Weyrlingmaster and agrees to serve as Candidatemaster following the departure of her predecessor.
